


My Dear Edward

by Jessicanov201



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-07 03:18:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessicanov201/pseuds/Jessicanov201
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella joins her students in summer pen pal assignment, and her pen pal is Corporal Edward Cullen. Read the letters they write and see where they both end up at the end of the summer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In the beginning the chapters will consist of one letter either from Bella or Edward. We will also see a bit of Bella’s POV. As the story progresses the chapters will get longer. I am going to plan on trying to update once per week.
> 
> I do not own twilight and No copyright infringement is intended.

My Dear Edward 

Chapter 1 

 

“OK, class, I know this is the last week of school and all, but I have some great news for you.” I look around and see the look of question on their faces. “It seems as though we will all be together again next year, as I will be teaching eighth grade English.”

 

I pause and watch the expressions change. There are a few that are clearly disappointed, some that could care less, and a few of my prize students are clearly excited. I wonder what they will think of what I have planned for them. 

 

“There is a summer assignment that we, including myself, will be partaking in.” I continue talking over the groans that come from the back of the room. Yes, I knew that this would not go over well for all who attend my class.

 

“Excuse me, Mrs. Swan; will this be part of this year’s grade, or next?” Angela asked from the front row.

 

“This will be part of next year’s grade. You will be glad to know that the summer reading list has been shortened.” I continue to talk over the now cheers that are coming from the back row. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s only by two books, but this assignment will not take that much time.”

 

I walk to my desk and pull out the packets for each of the students. I walk down each row, handing each student an envelope. It will contain all the information that they need to complete their task. 

 

“OK, now that everyone has their information, let me tell you about it. We will each be getting a pen pal. All the information you need is included in the packet. You will write to them once per week. You can mail out your first letter anytime between now and July first. This will give you enough time to make sure that you get your eight letters mailed. In your envelope, there is a name of someone who is enlisted in one of the branches of our military and is currently serving overseas. The goal of this assignment is to work on letter format, proper English, and overall writing skills. Are there any questions?”

 

I pause and watch a few of hands go up.

 

“Yes, Ben.”

 

“Is there anything specific that we need to write about?”

 

“No, you can talk about anything, within limits of course. You will write two copies of each letter, and save all the responses. We will share what we learned about our pen pals, examine the way you’re writing skills changed, and look at improvements. Each letter must be between five hundred and one thousand words. It must contain proper paragraphs, and punctuation.”

 

I spend the rest of the class answering questions and handing out the final grades.

 

“So class, we only have a few more minutes, I want you all to have a fantastic summer, but be safe and have fun. You all have access to my email address, if there are any questions, please email me.”

 

Just as I finish, the final bell rings. I watch as the kids jump from their seats and rush out of the room. I laugh at the excitement that they have as I remember what it was like when I was that age. I take my time gathering my things before I head home to relax. I still have some work to do this summer, and of course, I need to write my letters as well. 

 

The drive home is peaceful; I put the top down as I turn up the music. When I arrive home, I park in the garage, gather my things, and enter my home. I set my keys on the table next to the door and remove my shoes. I set my bag down on the steps and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. I take time to answer the emails that are in my inbox. Of course, there is one from Sue. My real mom died when I was ten, and she quickly took over to help out. She sends me one every week. I can guarantee that the first line will ask me if I met anyone. 

 

I finish dinner, and finally begin to unpack from my last day of school. I put everything where it belongs in my office. I’m excited to see how this summer writing assignment goes, so I decide that tonight I will start my first letter. First, I need to unwind and relax. 

 

I jump in the shower, and once I’m dressed in my shorts and tank top, I grab my laptop and head to the living room. I set it on the coffee table and run to the kitchen to pour a small glass of wine. I set it on the stand next to my chair and turn on the table lamp. Once my laptop loads, I open up my Microsoft Office and begin my first letter. 

 

June 17, 2011

Dear Edward:

 

Hello. I hope this letter finds you in good standings. Let me introduce myself. My name is Isabella Swan, but almost everyone calls me Bella. I am an English teacher at Forks Middle school in WA. 

 

My class has a summer assignment that I too am participating in. I have assigned all my students a member of our armed forces that is currently serving overseas as a pen pal. I am hoping that this helps develop their writing skills, as well as get to know someone they may not have a chance to get to know otherwise. I am requiring them to write one letter per week as a minimum. To make it fair, I put all the names in a hat and drew them. It was your name that I pulled for myself. I was given a list of names and an address to mail the letters to from out local recruiting office. 

 

I know this letter is short, but I wanted to let you know the reason of my letter, and to ask you if you would be interested in writing to me over the summer. The assignment will last for eight weeks, however, everyone is free to continue if they so choose. I will warn you that each letter does have a minimum of five hundred words; of course, yours can be of any length. If you would like to accept my letters, and join in by writing back just let me know.

 

I understand if you are too busy in your duties and may not have time. If that is the case, please be careful in all that you do, and return home safe. I look forward to getting to know you this summer.

 

Sincerely,

Isabella Swan

 

P.S. I know that this first letter does not meet the word requirement. I just wanted to say hi, and I promise to give myself a low grade for not following directions. (Just a little teacher joke there)

 

 

I reread my letter to make sure I’m happy with it before I print it out, place it in an addressed envelope, and walk out to the mail box. To make it easier on the kids, they all have envelopes that are pre-addressed, and postage paid. 

 

I spend the rest of the night wondering about my pen pal. I wonder what he looks like, what he likes to do, and if he enjoys his job. Before I shut down my laptop, I jot down a list of questions I would like to ask him. A game of twenty questions so to say. I am excited to get a response, and I hope my class is as well. 

 

~MDE~

 

A week has gone by since I mailed out my first letter. A few of my students have already emailed me letting me know that they have gotten a response back. I’m glad they are getting into this and enjoying it. Me, I keep checking the mail hoping to get a response. I have always wanted to do something like this, and I’m excited to meet someone new that does not live in this small town. I hum the latest song that is still in my head as I check the mail for today. I have several pieces and begin to flip through them as I walk to the house. 

 

There are a few bills, some junk mail, and wait, what’s this? The envelope is handwritten, addressed to me of course, but there is no return address on it. I place all but the one envelope on the table and take a seat. I slide my finger gently under the sealed envelope careful not to get a paper cut. Once it’s open, I pull out the paper and unfold the letter; it too is handwritten, I’m excited, the letter is from Edward. 

 

June 24, 2011

Dear Bella:

 

Hello. I hope it is OK that I call you Bella as well. If you would prefer me to call you Isabella please let me know. 

 

I was surprised when they called out names for mail, and I heard my name. It’s not often that I get mail, and when I do, it’s normally from my mom. I would be honored to write to you this summer. I think your writing assignment is a great idea. I know that there are many soldiers that don’t get many letters or calls from home, and I watch as it brings them down. I have also seen the delight of those that do get to hear their name. It still surprises me sometimes to see just how much a simple letter can mean to someone. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to write to me, and don’t worry, I won’t tell about your low score. It’s just between you and me. So if you don’t mind me asking; what grade do you teach? 

 

I truly look forward to getting to know you, and reading your letters. I know this is short, but I need to run. I just wanted to respond and let you know that I’m in. 

 

Sincerely,

CPL Edward Cullen

 

P.S. Please don’t fail me on my word count. It was only two hundred and five. Unless every word on the page counts, then I’m at two hundred and sixty-five. So that gives me what, a C+? Take care, and I will write to you soon. 

 

 

I laugh as I reread his P.S. I am glad he has a sense of humor. I think I will enjoy writing to him. I place the letter on my desk and decide to go through the rest of my mail. After paying all the bills and recycling the junk mail, I put on my sneakers and go for a run. 

 

Running is my favorite form of exercise, the feeling of the wind through my hair, and sound of my sneakers as they pound on the asphalt beneath me. It’s rhythmic and calming. Some days, I bring my IPod, but other days, days like today, I let the consistent thud calm me. I feel the sun beating on my face, and it warms my skin. I smell all the flowers as I run past the gardens. My favorite is Mrs. Plat’s yard. She has the most beautiful garden I have ever seen. She must have hundreds of different flowers, and the scent is amazing. You can smell the different rose and her lilac bushes. 

 

As I begin to take in my surroundings, I begin to imagine what it’s like where ever Edward is. I wonder if the weather is warm, or cold, or if he’s safe. I decide that when I go home I will research a bit on his rank and get an idea of what role he plays. Maybe I can impress him with my new found knowledge. I finish my five mile run and spend the last five minutes walking to cool down my body. I stretch when I get in the house. My plan for the day is a shower and research on the laptop.


	2. Chapter 2

~MDE~  
Chapter 2 

 

June 26, 2011  
Dear Edward:

Thank you for your quick response. I will say I was not expecting it so fast, but I am happy it came. As for your question, I currently teach seventh grade, but next year I will be teaching eighth grade. This is what’s allowing me to have the same students again this fall.

I have been doing a lot of thinking this past week and thought maybe we could play a game of twenty questions. It could be an excellent way to get to know each other. If this is silly to you, please know I won’t hold it against you, and I promise to be truthful in my answers. So, if you are up for it, here is my first question. I will include my answer to it, as well.

What made you chose your line of work?

My answer is easy. I love children. More than that, I love watching them learn. I always wanted to teach kindergarten; I wanted to be the first one to teach them outside of their families. I wanted to be there and get them involved. I thought if I could pull them in, and show them learning was fun, they would take that throughout the years and continue to learn. After a few years, I decided to work with the older kids. Don’t get me wrong, I still loved them at that age, but it was all so new to them, and they were all willing to learn. And well, I guess I just needed more of a challenge from my students. 

I taught third grade next, and that lasted for three years. Two years ago, I began to teach seventh grade. This is where I found my challenge. The kids were starting to grow, mature, and of course, puberty. They were getting set in their ways, and I get to help mold them. I watch those who struggle, and when they finally get it, well, that is the satisfaction I need. To me, there is nothing better than watching a student grow in confidence, and know that they actually can do it if they work at it. 

I’m assuming that next year will be pretty much of the same. How much can they genuinely change in one year, right? I know there are other jobs out there that pay more, but this makes me happy. I vowed that I would never be stuck in a job just because I had to work. I would do what I love, and everything else would fall into place. 

OK, here is my next question. What type of car do you drive, and what would be your dream car if money were no object?

Sorry, I had to throw in a fun one. For me, I currently drive a Jeep Wrangler. I love it. I saved for so long to buy it, but its good in the snow, and here in the North West, you need something that drives well in the snow and rain. Did I mention that if it’s not snowing, it’s raining? Now, if money were no object, I would go classic. I love the muscle cars of the late sixties, early seventies. There is just something about the sound of them rumbling down the street that I love, and I can’t forget the look. So, if money were no object, I would have two. I know that’s kind of cheating right, but hey it’s my question, my rules. So yes, I would have two. The first would be a 1969 Chevy Camaro, and the second would be a 1972 Dodge Challenger. The dodge would be Plum Crazy Purple with black racing stripes, and the Camaro would be canary yellow with black racing stripes. Then I would have to put in some sort of big engine to power it all. As much as I love gadgets, I would keep them basic, they are classic cars for a reason, why mess with them and make them modern. 

So do any of my answers surprise you? Again, I hope this letter finds you well and safe, and thank you for embarking on this pen pal journey with me. I am truly looking forward to getting to you know you.

Sincerely, 

Isabella Swan


	3. Chapter 3

~MDE~  
Chapter 3

June 30, 2011  
Dear Bella:  
I must say your letter made me laugh, and yes, there were some things that surprised me. I think your idea of twenty questions could be fun. I am more than willing to play. I just hope that I can at least come up with some good questions. 

So, your first question was why I am in this line of work. I wish my answer was as simple as yours, however, I commend you. I know that your job cannot be easy all the time. Hell, I was that age once, and I remember how we were. (I promise I’ve grown up…a little) I joined the Marines ten years ago. I wanted to make a difference in this world. My family wanted me to become a doctor, and granted, they make a huge difference, but I wanted more. My grandfather fought and died in World War Two. He was a pilot. My grandmother used to tell me stories of him when I was younger, and I became fascinated with them. I also had two uncles who fought in Vietnam. One is still living; the other I’m sad to say, died, in combat. 

When I told my family what I wanted to do, they tried to talk me out of it. My mom had already lost her dad and her brother; she told me she couldn’t handle losing me, as well. It was a struggle for a while, but like you, I knew I didn’t want a job just because it was what everyone else wanted. I wanted to do this for me, for my country. So, two months after I graduated high school, I enlisted, and I’ve been here ever since. Sure, there are days when I would like to be home with family, but I’m just not ready to say goodbye yet. I don’t think this is what I will do forever, but for now, I’m happy and content. 

Now for your second question, currently I drive a HMMWV, but you may know it better as a Humvee. I’m assuming you mean when I am home, right? At home, I drive a Volvo C70. I love that car. Like you, I saved, but I managed to get it. Now fore dream cars, I go the opposite way of you. Sure classic cars are nice, and they have their place, but I like the pricy ones. If money were no object, I would own an Aston Martin DBS Volante in cherry red. That car is sleek and sexy. As for sounds, you haven’t heard anything until you have heard this baby purr. When it comes to engines, it puts out over five hundred horse and tops out at one hundred and ninety. This is the kind of car you take out to make love to the road. Sorry, I hope that didn’t offend you. Here it is, my second letter, and I’m already letting my mouth, or hand get away from me. No, wait, that didn’t sound good either. Let me try that again, I am sorry if my language gets away from me, I am used to talking to a bunch of guys, and I sometimes forget and slip. I truly hope you are not offended. So, I guess it’s turn to ask you questions now. 

Question one: Do you have a family? (I wouldn’t want to offend your husband or boyfriend)

Question two: What are some of your favorite things and why?

Well, I need to end this here. Duty calls, and I must run. Until next time.

 

 

Sincerely,  
CPL Edward Cullen


	4. Chapter 4

~MDE~  
Chapter 4

 

July 6, 2011  
Dear Edward:

Your letter arrived today, and I had some free time, so I thought I would respond. I wanted to take a moment to thank you. The service you do for this country is wonderful. I know that it’s not for everyone, but it’s a job that needs to be done. I’m glad that you joined for yourself and didn’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do. Have you thought about what you will do when you get out? I know you said that you don’t want to be enlisted forever. I looked up the car you wrote about, and I must say it is nice. I hope one day you get all that you dream of. Please don’t worry about language, it takes a lot to offend me, and you’ve never seen me out with the girls for drinks on a Friday night. Those can get quite entertaining, and we all manage to swear like sailors.

OK, so to answer your question about a husband. It’s an easy answer, I don’t have one, and don’t worry there is no boyfriend either. I was engaged once a few years back, but it’s a long story. I would love to be settled down and married, but I just haven’t found that one yet. I always thought I would have it by now; the house, the husband to come home to, and the kids. It’s like my job though, I won’t settle. I deserve to be loved, and cherished, and there are so many guys that could come and go. Sure, I’ve dated a bit here and there, but there has been nothing meaningful. You know, that someone you are drawn to, that you can feel the connection with. I don’t want to have to defend it or think about it. I just want it to be. I know that he is out there somewhere, and I just need to be patient until I find him. What about you? Do you have family somewhere here in the states? Much like you, I wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

 

I like your second question. There are a lot of things that I like. I love music. I listen to almost everything, but I’m partial to classical. There is just something about a hot bath, a glass of wine, and Debussy playing in the background. It moves you. It’s like I can feel it in my soul, and no matter what the event of the day has been, it can take it all away. I also love reading; again, the classics are my favorite. I love picking up a book and getting lost in the story; being able to put myself in it and living a new life, even if just for a few hours. There are books that I can read over and over, and they never get old. I love the sun. I know I live in one of the wettest places in the US, but its home here, and when the sun does make a presence, I soak it up. I also vacation some place warm every summer. I also enjoy children, of course, and people in general. I may not have many friends, but the ones I do have are close. I don’t know what I would do without them. We get together every Friday night for a few drinks and dinner. In fact, that is where I am heading when I finish this letter. I treat my friends like family; we are close and take care of each other. Who needs a ton of so called friends that you speak to once a month, when you can have quality friends that you can’t live without. 

So these are some of the things that I enjoy, sure there are more, but these are the most important things to me. So what things do you enjoy? I have to be honest; I’m not sure what question to ask next. I have a list of things I wanted to ask, but I’m not sure what to choose. So I guess I will choose these. 

What is our family like? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite color? 

 

 

Sincerely,  
Isabella Swan

 

I seal the letter into an envelope and place it in the mailbox. I’m running a few minutes late to meet the girls, so I quickly make my way to the restaurant. I finally arrive ten minutes late, and easily find my two best friends waiting for me. I smile and say hello as I sit. 

“Bells, you are never late, is everything OK?” Alice asks. 

 

“Yes, I was just finishing my letter.”

 

“You were writing a letter? Who does that anymore? Isn’t everything done by text or email now a day?” That would be Rose, she is everything modern, but I love her. 

 

I take a moment to explain my assignment to the girls. 

 

“Well, if you assigned it to the kids, why are you doing it as well?” Rosalie asks. 

“I thought it would be fun, and I figured that if I did it as well, it may help motivate the kids.”

“I think it’s romantic.” Leave it to Alice to find romance. 

“How is it romantic? I’m writing to a stranger who is overseas somewhere. I don’t know if he’s married, or gay.” We all laugh, but Alice gets strange look on her face. 

“Come on, I’m serious. I have a feeling about him, about you. I think this could be it. Just you wait and see.”

We finish dinner, and chat over more drinks. The ride home I think about what she said. Wouldn’t it be funny if he was the one? It would be one hell of a story to tell the kids. What the hell, now I’m thinking about kids. He’s probably already married and has his own kids. I should know when I get his next letter.


	5. Chapter 5

~MDE~  
Chapter 5

July 9, 2011  
Dear Bella:

I could get used to hearing my name when the mail comes. I guess I never realized how much I missed it until I started hearing it weekly. I know I said I see how other men react when they do or don’t get mail, but I never thought much of it when it came to me. I find myself looking forward to the mail, and excited to read what you write. Thank you for keeping me company when it gets lonely over here. 

I am glad I didn’t offend you; I was a bit worried there for a minute. Although, I think I would like to join you on one of these girls’ nights. They sound like they could be a lot of fun. I’m sorry about your engagement; maybe one day if you want to share, you can tell me the story. I have nothing but time over here. I’m like you in the relationship department. There is no one other than family waiting for me back home. I have had a few girlfriends though-out the years, but they were never serious. It’s hard to find someone that wants to settle down, let alone with a soldier. I see it all the time, and I know that it’s not an easy life to live; never knowing when you are leaving or when you'll get back home. It’s not like you can kiss your wife every morning and tell her you’ll be home for dinner. It takes an exceptional woman to handle that, and, unfortunately, I have seen too many relationships and marriages fail because of this way of life. 

I know what you mean about settling. I refuse to rush into something. I believe that you get married to your soul mate, and there is only one of those. Therefore, you get married once, and its forever. I want someone strong enough to love me through everything life can throw at us. I don’t want to be over here and wondering what’s happening at home, know what I mean. I want the confidence to know that even though it’s hard, that my wife is home supporting me, and trusting in us to make it through anything. 

My mom keeps bugging me about grandbabies, but I tell her to ask my brother. He is the only sibling I have. Emmett is great, but it will be a while before he has kids. You see, last year my brother came out. I had known for years, but he was scared to tell the family. I was so proud the day he said he wouldn’t hide anymore. My family has been great, and we are all supportive of him. The issue is he’s not ready to settle down yet. Even if he were, it would take some work for him to bring children into the relationship. So, you see, my mom feels it’s my duty to give her tons of grandbabies. It’s a joke around the house, but I know that part of her is serious. She knows that when I meet the right one, they will come along. 

My family is down to earth and amazing. We are all close, and there are very little secrets between us. We are also one crazy bunch. Sure, we can be serious and all business-like when we need to, but we can get down and crazy when we want to. The last time I was home on leave, we all went on vacation to Texas. We decided to have a picnic, and that lead to mattress surfing. In case you don’t know what that is, I’ll explain. There were a couple of guys in a big truck, and they had a queen-size mattress tied to the back bumper. So, as you can guess, you get dragged through the mud and muck, and see how long you can stay on. We were all watching it for a while and talking about how fun it looks. Well get this, my mother of all people walks right up to them when they stop, and asks for a turn. Now, what was downright funny is that my mom is an interior decorator, and is always dressed her best. So, there she was, taking off her heals, pulling up her skirt a bit, and jumping right on. By the time she was done, her clothes were ruined, and her hair was full of mud, but I have never seen her smile bigger than she did that day. So, as you can see, we like to have fun. What about you? Are you an only child, or do you have any brothers or sisters? Any funny stories you want to share?

On a different note, I would have to say that my favorite food is anything that you can put in your mouth. I love all food, but I guess if I had to choose one item, it would be spring rolls. There is just something about the way the outside crunches, and the tender veggies inside. The contrast of the textures and all the flavors, I love them. Now I’m seriously wondering if there is a Chinese place around here. Do you happen to know any that will deliver this far out? I guess I know what the first thing I’m having when I get back to the states is. My favorite color is blue. I love all shades, but I’m partial to midnight blue. I like the simple things in life. I miss sitting home on the back deck and watching the sunset. Movies are entertaining, but I love good company. There is nothing better than being with friends and family, eating food, and just laughing together. You know, I bet your friends and mine would get along great. 

So you may hate me for this, but last night was slow, I was bored, and, well, I thought of a lot of questions. I have placed my answers below the questions, and if you want, you can answer them in your next letter. Are you ready? Well here you go. You may want to check the level of ink in your pen, or sharpen your pencil; you’ll need it. 

1\. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?   
Yes, my Grandfather’s first name is my middle name. Anthony. 

2\. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?   
When I left for my first deployment; my mom can do that to you. 

3\. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?   
I have always hated it. I would have made a convincing doctor.

4\. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?   
Pickle loaf.

5\. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?   
Nope, but I want a big family. 

6\. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?   
Of course, I think I am a great person to hang around. 

7\. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?  
No way…(did you hear it in there?) *laughs*

8\. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?   
Yes

9\. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?   
Yes. Emmett and I did it for his twenty-first birthday.

10\. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?   
Frosted Mini-Wheat’s.

11\. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?   
Nope, and it bothers my mom something crazy.

 

12\. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?   
I would say yes. My job requires me to be fit. 

13\. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?   
Moosetracks. 

14\. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?   
Their eyes. 

15\. RED OR PINK?   
Red.

16\. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?   
My feet. I don’t know why, but they bug me. 

17\. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?  
My mom.

 

18\. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?  
Crackers.

19\. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?  
Plain old tan military boots. Boy, I miss my sneakers.

20\. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU DRANK?  
Water. It gets hot here, so I drink a lot of water. 

21\. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  
The sounds of men telling stories, and talking about girls. Did I tell you that men over here talk a lot? And most of it is about girls. 

22\. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?   
Cadet Blue. Yes it’s a color, well to Crayola it is. 

23\. FAVORITE SMELLS?   
Rain, and cut grass. 

24\. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?   
My Dad. 

25\. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?   
Beach. 

26\. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?  
Football.

27\. HAIR COLOR?   
I say reddish brown, but my Mom says bronze. 

28\. EYE COLOR?   
Green. 

29\. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?  
No.

30\. FAVORITE FOOD?   
We already went over this, but it was on my list. LOL.

31\. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?   
Anything that is well-written. Shhh…don’t tell anyone, but I don’t mind a good chick flick every once in a while.

32\. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?  
It’s been a while so I’m not sure. Wow, that is sad. 

33\. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?  
White.

34\. SUMMER OR WINTER?   
Summer.

35\. HUGS OR KISSES?  
Hugs. 

36\. FAVORITE DESSERT?  
Cheesecake.

37\. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?   
Strength. 

38\. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?   
Computer, there are so many more options. 

39\. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?   
No books, but I have reread your letters; many times.

40\. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  
Plain black.

42\. FAVORITE SOUND?   
Rain.

43\. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?   
Beatles.

44\. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?   
Iraq. 

45\. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?   
I play the piano. 

46\. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?   
Chicago.

47\. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?   
Somewhere in Iraq. Sorry, I can’t get more specific than that. 

48\. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?   
White. 

49\. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?   
Black.

50\. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?   
I had to come up with that many didn’t I? Well I guess if I get to know you better, than yes, I would do it every day.

Sincerely,  
CPL Edward Cullen


	6. Chapter 6

~MDE~  
Chapter 

 

July 12, 2011  
Dear Edward:

Wow, when I say a game of twenty questions you commit yourself; I like it. I promise to be true to my game and answer them all though. I’m glad you look forward to my letters. If my words can bring someone joy, then I’m more than happy to continue to write. It must get incredibly lonely being away from your family. I’m not sure I could do that particularly well, but that just makes you a stronger man. Please let me know if there is anyone you think could benefit from a letter. I don’t mind writing more if it can bring that much joy. Would it be weird if I said I too look forward to my mail? I keep wondering if there will be more than just bills waiting for me. 

Sorry, no can do on the girl’s night. That would be breaking all the rules. We wouldn’t be able to talk about boys if they were around now, would we? It wouldn’t be quite the same to gossip if the gossipee (is that even a word? Oh well, it is tonight, and here I am the English teacher. *giggles*) to be in hearing shot of said gossip, and we wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone now would we. No, in all honesty, I swear they are pretty tame; well, mostly, but it’s an excellent way to unwind. When we get together, we’re not worried about impressing anyone, or looking our best. We go to have fun and catch up. We never make it a significant event, and that’s what I love so much. We spend the nights talking about boys, work, or general things that are going on in our lives. I swear, sometimes it’s like high school all over again. It’s just with deeper conversation, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Don’t worry about my past. It was a colossal mistake, and I am OK with my choices. It was hard at the time, but I’m strong, and as I said, I will not settle. Maybe one day I will tell you that story, but for now, I would like to keep things on the gentler side. I do have some of the same beliefs as you. I’ve always told myself that I would get married once, that it would be for life, and I plan to stick by that. It must be hard to have a relationship when your other half is on the other side of the world. I can imagine that it puts a lot of stress on both parties, but see that’s what I was talking about. If you can find that one person, then it won’t matter where you are physically, because, in your hearts, you’ll always be together. Love is worth fighting for no matter how many miles are in-between you.

Your family sounds fantastic. I wish I were that close with mine. My mom died when I was ten. My dad and I are close, but it’s a quiet closeness. We are there for each other, and we know that we love each other, but it’s not spoken. That is one promise I have made myself. When I have a family of my own, they will know how much I love them. They will probably get sick of hearing me say it. 

I’ve never heard of mattress surfing before, but it sounds fun. This would be the perfect place for it with the amount of rain that we get. There is always mud to be found. Oh, and I’m an only child. So it’s just me and my dad. We do try to have dinner once a week, but sometimes it’s hard with his schedule. I always wanted a large family. One where my children had each other to play with and they would always have someone there. I’ve always wanted five or six kids, but who knows. I do know that I want more than one. I wish I had the family gatherings where we could laugh and play. Sorry, look at me, here I am rambling and spitting out how many kids I want. You must be running already. I promise I’m not trying to have your babies. *Insert schoolgirl laugh here.* Your mom sounds incredible. My best friend would have died if she had been there. She is into fashion, and to see your mom in her nice clothes and covered in mud, it would have been a sight to see. I have to tell her that story, if it’s OK with you any way. 

So where do you call home? That is if it’s not too much information. I promise not to stalk you or anything. Tell me more about you, what gets you mad, sad or happy. What makes you laugh so hard you cry? I don’t have any embarrassing stories to tell, but there was this one time…no I’ll save that for a future letter. It was quiet with it being just my Dad and I. He did pull out the shotgun for my first boyfriend though. Needless to say, that was my first and last date with that boy. I was a quiet kid, did well in school. I stayed out of trouble, so sorry nothing too embarrassing here. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Sorry if I get too personal. I just find it incredible easy to write to you, and often forget that we just met a few weeks ago. 

So I guess it’s time to answer your questions. Beware though, I may respond to a few of your answers, and my hand may hate you for having to rewrite them. 

1\. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?   
Nope.

2\. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?   
Three weeks ago, it was the anniversary of my mom’s death. 

3\. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?   
I love it.

4\. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?   
(Pickle loaf, really. That’s gross.) I love turkey, but it needs to be the real turkey.

5\. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?   
Nope, but I did already say I want five or six, and they don’t have to be yours.

6\. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?   
I would. (I would also be friends with you.) 

7\. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?  
I try not to, but it sometimes slips. (And yes, I heard it in your answer lol)

8\. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?   
Yes

9\. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?   
No way in hell. I am so scared of heights. 

10\. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?   
I’m not a cereal kind of girl, I prefer oatmeal with peaches. 

11\. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?   
I do.

12\. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?   
I am in shape, but not strong. 

13\. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?   
Strawberry.

14\. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?   
The truth? OK, can’t believe I’ll admit this, but I did say I would be honest. I notice a girl’s personality and smile first. When it comes to guys, it’s their butts. *goes and hides now* (why do you think I watch football?)

15\. RED OR PINK?   
Red as well. 

16\. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?   
I’m shy around new people. 

17\. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?  
My mom. (But for different reasons)

 

18\. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?  
I’m eating now, and its ice cream. 

19\. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?  
No shoes, I’m bare-foot. 

20\. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU DRANK?  
Margarita, or two. OK you got me, maybe three, I think. 

21\. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  
(I hope they are at least good stories that you boys talk about.) I’m listening to Katy Perry “The One That Got Away.” 

22\. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?   
Tickle Me Pink

23\. FAVORITE SMELLS?   
(ohh, I love the smell of cut grass as well) I love the smell of bakes goods in the Fall. 

24\. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?   
My best friend, Alice. 

25\. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?   
It depends. If I’m with the girls, the beach. If I were with someone special, mountain hideaway. 

26\. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?  
Not really into sports. Well, not for the sport side of it anyway. 

27\. HAIR COLOR?   
Brown.   
28\. EYE COLOR?   
Brown. 

29\. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?  
No.

30\. FAVORITE FOOD?   
lol. We did talk about food already, didn’t we? 

31\. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?   
Scary movies with a happy ending. 

32\. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?  
Breaking Dawn Part 1. I know a total chick flick. 

33\. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?  
Um…Not wearing one. (Hey it’s hot in here. So I have a sports bra on, but it’s blue.)

34\. SUMMER OR WINTER?   
Summer.

35\. HUGS OR KISSES?  
Hugs as well, I love the feeling of being wrapped in someone’s arms. 

36\. FAVORITE DESSERT?  
Pie. 

37\. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?   
Cardio. 

38\. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?   
Computer, and I totally agree with you. 

39\. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?   
I’m touched that my letters keep you company. I’m reading Dark Lover. 

40\. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  
It’s blue.

42\. FAVORITE SOUND?   
The sounds of a cool summer night. 

43\. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?   
Beatles.

44\. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?   
Chicago. It was a girl’s weekend, and oh my, was it fun. 

45\. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?   
Nope, well…nope, not going to go there. 

46\. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?   
Right here in Forks. 

47\. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?   
lol, still in forks. 

48\. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?   
Brown.   
49\. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?   
Blue.

50\. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?   
Well my hand hurts from writing all the questions, but it was fun. And hey, at least it’s a productive way to get a cramp in your hand. OK, so that came out a bit wrong. This would be so much easier if I were typing, then I could delete. So ya, sorry, for an explanation please see the answer to question 20. I really shouldn’t write when I have had a few drinks. Oh well, maybe I’ll write a new one tomorrow.   
Goodnight Edward. 

 

Sincerely,  
Bella.


	7. Chapter 7

~MDE~  
Chapter 7

 

July 16, 2011  
Dear Bella:

So, where to start? I guess I’ll come right out and say it. I thoroughly enjoyed your last letter. I can see you chose not to write a new letter, and I’m glad you sent the one you did. I promise I was not offended and did not take things the wrong way. I can see that you are a “fun” type of girl. We all have nights where we just need to unwind. I can say that there are nights I could use a drink or two. We all need to let loose every once in a while, and the margaritas just made the letter a bit more entertaining. There were several times that I had to laugh, and even a time where I needed to stop and re-read. I wasn’t sure I read what I did. Thank you for being honest. I really liked some of your answers, maybe a bit too much. Although, I have to wonder, would you have been that honest if you did not have the liquid courage? Yes, sorry, I am a guy; a guy living with a lot of other guys. So, when one reads about no shirts, and cramped hands, the mind tends to wonder, and wonder it did. OK, so now I think we are even with the word diarrhea. 

So there were not that many questions in your letter; so I guess I’ll just write. You know I was born in Chicago, but I currently live in Portland, OR. So we live only about 4 hours from each other. I promise I won’t stalk you either. I guess I’m an ordinary guy. I enjoy the normal things in life; hanging out with friends and good movies. I like to think of myself as a guy’s guy, but I understand the need to be sensitive, as well. My mom taught me to be respectful, and honest. So, yes, I open doors for others and have even been known to pull out a chair or two. I hate it when others are cruel for no reason, or gang up on others. I’m man enough to admit that I can be emotional at times; I’m not a complete hard ass. 

So I have a question for you. I have access to a computer while I am here. Would it be easier to email back and forth? It’s OK if you want to continue to mail letters, but if I’m being honest, I enjoy talking to you, and if we email I can hear from you sooner. I guess that is if you chose to write more often. You don’t have to, and I know I’m being a bit selfish, but I can’t help it. Reading your words makes me smile. I love that you asked if there are any others that could benefit from a letter, and I think there are a few. Let me look a bit more into it, and I will let you know the next time we talk. You are a phenomenal woman for doing this, Bella; I hope you truly understand just how much your letters mean. 

I also have one more question, and, please, feel free to tell me to buzz off. I know that we have just begun talking, but you are so easy to talk to. I seriously mean it when I say that I look forward for your letters. The new thing now, is I keep wondering what you look like. I have this image of what I think you may look like, but I’m curious. Could you possible send me a photo or tell me what you look like? I will even send you one of me if you would like. I hope you don’t think ill of me. I don’t actually know what I’m trying to say. I don’t want to come off as an ass, or anything, and I’m not trying to get a photo just too…well you know. OK, I need to shut up now. See, I guess we all have these days, and I’m not even drunk. You know what, forget it. I shouldn’t have asked. It was wrong of me, and my mother would have my head if she knew the way I was behaving. I’m sorry. 

Well, I’m going to go now. I’m not sure what else to say. I think I have inserted my foot into my mouth one too many times tonight.

 

Sincerely,  
CPL Edward Cullen


	8. Chapter 8

~MDE~  
Chapter 8

“He asked you for what?” Alice screeched through the phone.  
“He asked me to send him a photo or to describe myself,” I answer back as I move the phone to my right ear.   
“What did you tell him?”  
“I haven’t answered him yet.”   
To be honest, I’m not sure what to do. That is why I called Alice. She always knows the right thing to do. Part of me wants to send him the photo, but I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing. I’m the daughter of a cop, and I know it’s not the smartest thing to do; just going around sending your photo to strange men.   
“OK, spill it. What are you thinking? And you know you can’t hold anything back. I will know if you are keeping things.” Alice laughs, but she’s right. I have never been able to keep things from her. The great thing is that she will not judge, she is just honest.   
“Part of me is saying to break off all contact. I mean, come on, he wants my photo after only a few letters.” I pause as I think of a way to finish.  
“But…”   
“But, a part of me says trust him. That he’s not asking for the wrong reasons, and that it’s normal to be curious. I mean, I am. I’ve sat and wondered what he looks like. I don’t know, Alice, there is a pull I feel to him. I have never stalked my mailbox as much as I have these past few weeks. He’s easy to talk to, and funny as hell. It’s weird, I feel like I have known him so much longer. Does it make me crazy?”  
“Of course not, it’s a way of meeting someone with no pressure. I think you need to do what feels right. If you want to tell him what you look like, go for it. I already told you I have a good feeling about him.”  
“Alice, you’re crazy, but I love you. I’ll think about it. I’ll let you know what happens with his next letter.”  
“OK, you do that, and let me know what you decide.”  
I hang up with Alice and head to my bedroom. I take his letter and lay on the bed reading it for what must be the fifth time. Do I want to take that step? I really do feel like I can trust him. I don’t know how to explain it, this pull I feel. I seem to think about him often. Maybe I am turning into a crazy stalker.   
Really though, what do I have to lose? He sees my photo and doesn’t like it? Wait; do I want him to like it that way? I mean, maybe he does just want it to whack off to, but how many girls are over there, and how long has he been there? Why does the thought of him touching himself to my photo turn me on? God, I’m so confused. I need to think about it more. I crawl under the covers and settle in for a great night sleep. 

July 20, 2011  
Dear Edward:  
I hope you are doing well. I’m glad my tipsy letter didn’t have you run off thinking I’m crazy. It was a long day, and I’d already had a few when I found your letter in the mail. I was surprised to know you are so close to me. I have been there once, to Portland. Alice and I went on a weekend getaway and stayed in a hotel. It’s nice there, I enjoyed the city.   
I think it’s nice that you can be sensitive at times. That was part of the issue with my last relationship. Not that what we have is a relationship. Oh, you know what I mean. He had a hard time understanding that I can be sensitive sometimes. Not that I’m needy or over emotional or anything. Sometimes, it’s just nice to be held after a hard day. He didn’t understand that; he often though that I overreacted, and maybe sometimes I did, but to me that didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was upset or needy that night, and he would brush my feelings off. He would often tell me it was no reason to get upset over, or that he couldn’t understand the issue. I didn’t always need him to understand, just to be there. That was one of the reasons we didn’t work. So don’t change that quality about you. It will make some girl very happy someday.   
I have thought about your question on email. I agree that I too look forward to your letters. I think I have seen more of my mailman these last few weeks than I had in the last three months. I will provide you with my email address at the end of this letter. Maybe it’s for the better. I think I am was making the mailman nervous.   
I have also thought a lot about your request for a photo. I even called my friend Alice for advice. I will be honest; a part of me is scared to send it to you. I don’t know if I told you, but my dad is a cop, and that part of me screams, no, you do not give some stranger your photo, but then there is this part that already feels this trust for you. Besides, you already have my name and address. So, in reality, if you were some crazy ax murderer, you already have enough information to find me. Not that I think that, of course. It’s just the way my brain uses to think things out.   
I wish I could describe this pull I feel to you. I have never met you; I have no clue what you look like or even if what you tell me is true. My gut tells me I can trust you, and that’s another thing my dad taught me; trust your gut. I’m sorry if I am rambling, or saying too much. I’m not trying to scare you off, but I just needed to get it out. To see if maybe you can make any sense of what I am feeling. So yes, I am including my photo. I promise that it is me, and I am not really some five hundred pound fifty year old male. To be honest, I have been wondering what you look like as well.   
Take care, and be safe, Edward.   
By the way, my email is bswan@gmail.com . 

Sincerely,  
Bella


	9. Chapter 9

MDE  
Chapter 9   
July 28, 2011  
Dear Bella:  
I can understand why you were hesitant in sending me your photo. I’m glad to hear that you look out for yourself; however, I’m also extremely thankful that you agreed to send one. I now have a face to put with the name, and what a beautiful face it is. I wanted to tell you how stunning you are. I know that we never talked about age, but you look younger than I thought you were. On that note, I’m twenty-eight. How did we talk about so much and never tell each other how old we are?   
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but you are more beautiful than I imagined. I am also including two photos for you. One of my men happened to get a photo of me reading one of your letters, and I thought you might enjoy seeing it. The other is a photo that was taken the last time I went home; it was in one of my mother’s many gardens.   
I’m sorry about your ex. If you don’t mind me saying, he sounds like an ass, and from what I know of you from your letters, it’s his loss. I can fully understand where you are coming from. My parents raised me the right way. I grew up watching my dad treat my mom with the utmost respect. To this day, he still opens doors for her and pulls out her chair. It’s a shame that something that is so simple, and can make a girl feel cared for, is not done more often. He also taught me some secret, inside lessons. Although I can’t share them, (that would be breaking the man code) I can tell you that he taught me to be honest and make sure that I listened when a woman is talking to me. That you not only need to listen to her words, but to hear what she is truly saying. The most important one was to always be there. It didn’t matter if they needed a hug, or a shoulder to cry one, or just someone to make them laugh. As long as a man is there to be what she needs, they would always be happy. I have seen that first hand, and Bella, I truly hope that one day you find a man to treat you with the same respect my dad has for my mom. I honestly believe that every woman deserves to be treated that way. I just hope that one day I meet someone that I can love and cherish, and who will love me in return.   
You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that you look forward to my letters, and I’m sure your mailman isn’t completely freaked out, not yet anyway. I was hoping that it wasn’t just me. Some days, I wish I could write more, or write more frequently, but it’s hard. I work so much that I swear I’m asleep before my head hits where ever it is landing that night. I think that’s one of the things I miss most about home, my bed. There are days that I would give anything to be able to curl up in my own bed and just sleep. I miss the warmth and softness. It’s one of the many things I no longer take for granted. It’s also one thing I spent a lot of money on. There are so many things I miss from home, but I try not to think of them. There are days, when thinking too much of home can bring a man down, and out here, I need all the focus I can get. You don’t realize how many things you take for granted in life until they are gone. Appreciate the little things; it will make your day brighter.  
I wanted to address something you wrote in your last letter. I am so glad you wrote it, but I can completely understand what you mean. I didn’t say anything about the strange feelings, because, well, I didn’t want to come off as some ass of a man that was trying to get anything from you. I assure you I am not that type of man. I agree with you on one thing; I feel it also. I don’t know how to describe it. I too feel as if we have known each other for years, and not just a month. I even found myself talking about you in my last letter home. I hope that’s OK with you. I didn’t even realize it until I was getting ready to send it. I know my mom is going to have a field day with that one.   
You described it as a pull, and yes, that describes it perfectly. I want to write you all the time, and hear about your day in return. I look forward to getting your letters and learning something new. What amazes me is that I felt it without even seeing you. I felt a connection through your words. I will admit it is part of the reason I asked for a photo. I had been talking to a buddy of mine about your letters. You will learn that we talk a lot; sometimes that’s all there is to do. I promise that it’s respectful, and I don’t tell anyone what we write about. I had told him that I felt a connection, and he made a joke similar to you, about not knowing who we were talking to. Granted, you could have sent me a bogus photo, but I trust you. I honestly don’t think you would deceive me that way. I don’t know what this is we’re feeling, but I’m not ready to stop writing to you. I know that your assignment ends with summer, but I hope we can continue this friendship.   
So how was your day today? Did you do anything fun and exciting?  
Goodnight Bella, stay safe and sleep well. If you would like to email me, you can. cplecullen@gmail.com

Sincerely, 

CPL Edward Cullen


	10. Chapter 10

~MDE~  
Chapter 10

I’ve been so nervous about getting his letter. What will he think of the photo I sent? Why do I care if he liked it? I don’t understand why I feel this way. I’ve never met him in person. I hear the now tell-taile sound of the local mailman pulling up. I swear I can tell you the sound of that car apart from any other car in this city. It’s as if I am stalking my own mail box. I am out of the door and at the box before he even has a chance to deposit the enveloped in their temporary home. He smiles as he hands me the mail and tells me to have a great day.   
I franticly sort through the waiting envelopes. Light bill, cable bill, prescreened credit offer, coupon to my favorite clothing store, and…wait…here it is. I see the cream-colored envelope with his now-familiar handwriting. This one feels different from the others. It’s a bit heaver, and there seems to be something included. I run my fingers around the rectangular shape that is enclosed in the letter. It feels strangely similar to the last envelope I mailed him. Photos; he included one, as well.   
I’m scared to open it. Does he look like I imagined? I picture this young soldier, short hair, and a strong body. In my dreams, and yes, I have even started dreaming of him… he has dark hair, a soft face, with strong features. In my dreams, he looks as amazing as he sounds on paper. What if I’m disappointed?  
See why I’m so confused now? I have started dreaming about a man that I have never met. I feel what I can only describe as a pull and trust in this man. I don’t understand why I care what he thinks. Does it matter what he thinks of my photo, or me? I will never meet this man; he will remain perfect on paper. I need a drink - and Alice. I walk back into the house after I realize the neighbors must think I’m crazy standing in my drive way, wearing my bath robe and staring at the mail like it’s going to bite me.   
Once all the mail is deposited in the right places, I grab my coffee cup and open up my laptop. I log into my Facebook first and see that Alice is online. This is perfect; I’ll just message her and get her advice.   
“Alice, I got his letter this morning.”  
“And what did he say? Did he like the photo?”  
“I don’t know; I haven’t opened it yet.”  
“Why not,”   
“I think I’m scared?”  
“Of what,”  
“What if he didn’t like the photo? Alice, why do I care? I’m so confused?”  
“You are like any other girl, Bella. Of course, you would care what he thinks. What’s going on, and don’t you dare say it’s nothing. I know you, and there is something going on.”  
“That’s it. I just don’t know. I feel something for a man who is on the other side of the world, and whom I’ve never met. That’s crazy, right?”  
“Sure, maybe a little, but think of it this way. You are getting to know someone without all the crap about looks. You are getting to know him for who he is.”  
“But what if he’s not honest in his words?”  
“Do you feel that way?”  
“No, I feel like I can trust him. Alice, I’ve even been stalking my mail man, waiting for his next letter. This is crazy. It's like I have a school girl crush. Wait, is that possible?”  
“Anything is possible, Bella. You are getting to know a great man. It can’t be any different than meeting someone online, can it?”  
“Sure, but you know how I feel about that; and besides, I’m not dating Edward.”  
“That’s the great thing here. Don’t you see? You are getting to know him with no expectations. You are not trying to impress him, and you’re not worried whether this will fail as a relationship. You two have taken all the stressful stuff out of the equation.”  
“I guess you’re right. I never thought of it that way. I just don’t want to fall for him. What if I do?”  
“If you do, you deal with it. I’m sorry I don’t have any other answer for you. Look, take a long hot bath and relax. When you are done, open the letter, and then call me. I want all the details.”  
“OK, thanks a million! You are great.”  
I sign off my Facebook and do just that. When the water is hot, and the tub full, I climb in and relax. I have to force myself to stop staring that the envelope sitting on the counter. Yes, I brought it with me. The water starts to cool after thirty minutes, and my fingers are starting to prune. I get dressed for the day, throw up my hair, and then take the letter to the living room to open it.  
I can hear the paper rip as I slide my finger under the edge where it’s sealed. A thought pops into my head, and I suddenly wonder if he licked it to seal it, and if he did, is it the same as running my finger over his tongue? God I need to get my head out of the gutter. Once it is open, I pull out the letter, and sure enough, not one, but two photos fall into my lap. I pick up the first one and my heart flutters. It’s a photo of a man, in full combat gear, reading a letter. In fact, it looks like the same paper that I write my letters on. Is he reading my letter in this photo? I can’t tell how tall he is, but I was right about the body. He has strong arms. I pick up the second photo and turn it over. Holy shit, he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My dreams did not do him justice.   
He is standing in front of some sort of bush that has red blossoms on it. He has one of the blossoms in the pocket of his shirt. His chest is broad and strong. You can make out the definition of his pec muscles. His hair looks to be a shade of brown, with coppery, auburn highlights, and it’s messy, but a sexy messy. I look at the smile he has on his face, and really, this man is breathtaking. I stare at his photo for a while longer, before I finally open the page of his letter and read.   
The letter is unbelievable, and he said I was beautiful. I know I’m not ugly, but I have never thought of myself as extraordinary, and it’s been a while since I’ve had that sort of compliment. I decide that I don’t want to wait for a letter to arrive in the mail, so I once again boot up the laptop and open my email.  
To:cplecullen@gamil.com  
Subject: I hope you are safe.  
Date: August 1, 2011  
Dear Edward:  
I just got your letter in the mail, and to be honest, I couldn’t wait to write you, so I am sending you an email. Thank you for the compliment. I’ve never been a girl who has gotten many compliments, but it was really nice to hear it, or should I say read it. Just so you know; I am also twenty-eight, but no one seems to believe me. I guess that’s a good thing. I know what you mean about having a face to a name. I really enjoyed the photo of you reading my letter. I’m glad you can find comfort in them. The one of you in your mom’s garden is nice. You look so happy; it’s like you didn’t have a care in the world. It must be amazing to have down time like that. Where you can just be with the ones you love and enjoy their time.   
I do agree with you; Jake was an ass, but I’m glad I found out before I married him, and it truly is his loss. It’s amazing that your dad still treats your mom that way. Unfortunately, nowadays, you don’t always see that. I have seen too many families split up, and what it does to the kids is hard. I swear, if more people could just take the time to get to know each other and not rush into things that more marriages would last. Sure, I know that there are some that can meet, get married three months later, and live happily ever after, but that’s rare. I want my husband to be my best friend first, someone I can share my secrets with, and laugh at silly things with. I mean when you think of it, it’s really not too much to ask. Your parents taught you well, and if I haven’t said it before, I’ll say it now, you, Edward, will make some girl very happy someday. You sound like the perfect guy, and I believe that you will meet that someone special. How could you not?   
I can’t tell you how relieved it was to read that you are as confused as I am. I’m glad I’m not alone in these strange feelings. Maybe we can figure them out together. I just can’t seem to figure out where they are coming from, I have never felt this before, and I barely know you. It’s a little scary when you think of it, but comforting at the same time. I think we will become great friends, Edward.   
So, you really told your mom about me? I hope it was all good things. I don’t mind that you did, besides you already know that I have spoken about you to my best friend. I was actually just talking to her on Facebook before I started this email. To be honest, I was scared to open your letter. I was worried about what you would think of my photo. That’s another thing, I know that I’m not supermodel beautiful, but I know I’m pretty. For some reason, I was worried about your reaction to it, and I don’t know why. Oh well, thank you again for the compliment. It was really kind of you.   
As for you wanting to continue this after the summer, I agree. I don’t think I can stop writing you either. I find myself wanting to know more about you, and wanting to share more about me with you. I wish I knew why I feel this way, but maybe it can be fun figuring it out together.   
I will end this here for today. You can email me or write me back when you get free time. Please be safe, and take care of yourself. Oh, before I forget, watch out for new mail, I sent you something. 

Bella


	11. Chapter 11

~MDE~  
Chapter 11

To:bswan@gmail.com  
Subject: RE: I hope you are safe.  
Date: August 3, 2011  
Dear Bella:

It’s days like today that it’s nice to have someone to talk to. I was just able to check my email, and was surprised to hear from you so soon. It was just what I needed. Your words brought so much comfort today.  
God, today was hard. These are the days I wish I had family surrounding me, holding me. I’m not sure how much you know about what I do, but I basically supervise a team of four soldiers. I am the go between them and those higher up in command. These four men are my family here, and my responsibility. We are all close, and look after one another. There is nothing we don’t do together. These men are my lifeline, and I am theirs. Today, things changed. One of us was wounded. I promise you I’m fine, but one of my men is not. As you can hopefully understand, I can’t get into details of what happened. He will make a full recovery, but it will be a long process.  
I have seen men die out here, and to see that, and know there is nothing you can do, well, its gut wrenching, and not fair. I make it my mission to keep my men safe, and I failed him today. I felt so helpless. I know I did all I could, and so did my men, but that doesn’t make it any easier, and I still can’t help but wonder if there was more I could have done; if I should have done something different. I have never lost one of my men, and that almost changed this afternoon.   
This is why I’m here. There is so much wrong in this world. I may not do much, but I do my part to make this world a better place. I can’t begin to tell you how incredibly frustrating and angry it makes me when I see some of the shit I see. When I saw him lying there, covered in blood. It was too much. I’m sorry to dump all of this on you, but I needed to talk, I needed to vent, and well, to be perfectly honest (and I hope this doesn’t scare you away) when things calmed down, it was you I thought about.   
Things can change so quickly out here, and when it does, it really makes you think about what you do and don’t have in life. I know I have said it before, but thank you for taking the time to write to me, to keep me company on long nights. I know it’s not the same as someone really being next to you, but your words calm me, and keep me looking forward to more. I can’t tell you how happy it made me to read that you will continue to write me. I have come to rely on your letters, and now emails as well. I love that we have so much in common, and that we want the same things out of life. I would have loved to have met you while I was in the states. Who knows what could have happened between us. I know we could have been great friends, if not more. I’m sorry that was out of line. Wait, we promised honesty, right? Bella, I like you. I know it’s soon, but we have been corresponding for over a month now, and I can’t fight the feelings. I still have no clue what they are, or when they developed, but they are there. You feel it to, that pull. How is this even possible? We are on completely different continents and have never met face to face. I really hope this email doesn’t scare you off, and if it does, I’m sorry. Today put a lot of things in perspective, and I don’t want to fight it any more. When we came under fire so much happened. You don’t have time to think, you just react. There was one constant image that kept popping up in my mind. It was your face, Bella. I don’t know what it means, was it because you have been on my mind? Or could it be more?  
Bella, will you do something with me? Will you go on a date with me? I think I have a way if you accept. This Friday night I have some free time. I was planning on watching a movie. It’s something we don’t get often, but when we do, I love it. Would you be willing to watch it at the same time? We can even have our email open and talk back and forth, or just watch the movie together, well as together as we can be at this point. Again, I am so sorry if this comes across the wrong way. I’m not looking to offend you in any way. I just want to see where this can go, and if it helps, if I had met you sooner, I would have asked you out on day two. I want to get to know you Bella, even more than I already have. So, what do you say? Will you be my date for this Friday night?

Take care,   
Edward

P.S. I can’t wait for mail call.


	12. Chapter 12

~MDE~  
Chapter 12   
“Alice,” I cry into the phone when she answers.  
“Bella, what’s wrong? What happened?” she replies franticly.  
“It’s Edward.” I stop and try to catch my breath.  
“OK, calm down, and tell me what happened.”  
“There was some sort of accident. He said he’s OK, but that one of his men was badly hurt.”  
“But Edward is OK, right?”  
“He said he is.”  
“Take a breath, and listen to me. If he said he’s fine then he is. Is there a reason you are so worked up?” I know what she is trying to get me to admit. Is it true?  
“Alice, it made me think of all that could go wrong. All I could think about was something happening to him. I can’t lose him. I can’t fight it anymore. I have no clue what it is, but I like him.”  
“Have you told him?”  
“No.”  
“Maybe you need to. What else did he say?”  
I talk to Alice for another twenty minutes, and I end up reading her the email. She was in tears as I read what happened. She did make me see that I needed to tell him what I’m feeling. That it would help in the long run. She pointed out that he must feel something for me, as well. She was right. I know I can’t delay my response to him. It will just keep my up all night, and I need to get this out. I finish my glass of water and hit the reply button to his message. 

To: cplecullen@gmail.com  
Subject: Please tell me you are OK.  
Date: August 3, 2011

I just read your email, and I couldn’t wait to respond. I know it’s late here, but I needed to reach out and make sure you were safe and to let you know that I’m thinking of you.  
I’m at a loss for words. To be honest, your email scared the crap out of me, but not for the reason you thought. I’m not scared of your feelings for me, well, not in that sense anyway. I’ll explain that in a minute. It scared me because it really put in perspective the job you do. Yes, I know there is a great possibility that you could get injured over there, or even worse, but reading your words broke my heart.   
As I read your email, my body actually began to shake, and I had tears running down my face. I truly hope your friend is OK. Will you please tell him that even though I do not know him, he is in my thoughts and there is someone thinking of him and wishing him well?   
I am so incredibly happy that you are OK. Please promise me that you are being careful. I know you are, but to hear it from you would make me feel at ease. I’m glad that I could calm you when you needed it. Thank you for letting me be that person for you. It’s astonishing what the mind can do. Here I am, on the other side of the world, yet, I could be some sort of strength for you without even knowing that you needed it. When I read what happened, I had to stop and take a few breaths. I didn’t realize how much I cared, but when I thought that you could have been injured, well, let’s just say I needed a minute. What scares me is that here we are getting to know each other, we’ve never met, yet we have formed this incredible bond. I have never felt this way with anyone. Not that there have been many others, but you know what I mean. I think I’m scared of us being hurt, and let’s face it, there is that possibility.   
What are we going to do? I was scared of losing you, when you aren’t even mine to lose. I can see why this would be so hard on families, but, please don’t worry. I am not abandoning you. I will write to you for as long as you want me to. If that is what it takes to get you home to your family safe, then I will do it. I want to do it. I too, wonder what could have been, if we had met before. Who knows where we would be right now if we had. We could have met and fallen in love, or maybe we would have just passed each other by, but I’m not one to dwell on what ifs. I like to take charge of my life. So for now, I’m going to continue to be honest and see where this goes.   
My friend Alice thinks this could be it, you know, the one. She is all for romance and seems to think we will be a perfect match. I laughed when she first told me, but you know what? I’m not going to think about it, and I hope that comment doesn’t scare you off. I’m going to continue to write you, support you, and we will see where it takes us. Sure, it could be unbelievable if it were to become something more, but if we stay just friends than that’s OK. I won’t force anything, if something is meant to happen, it will happen. I just needed you to know that you are not alone in your feelings. I am just as confused as you are, but at the same time excited to see where our communication can bring us.   
OK, so it’s late here, and it’s been a rather emotional night, so I am going to bed. I’m thinking of you, Edward. Please stay safe and be there for your men. You are a strong man, and they are lucky to have you watching over them.   
Good night Edward,   
Bella  
P.S. I didn’t forget about your questions. I would love to go on a date with you. Just tell me the movie and time, and I will be sure to be ready. Do you have access to IM? That would be faster than emails, and I would have said yes on day two.

I press send on the email, close the laptop, and head to my bed. As I settle my tired body in the warmth of my bed, I wonder where he is, and what he’s doing. Does he have a safe, warm place to sleep tonight? My last thoughts are of him before I fall quickly asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

~MDE~  
Chapter 13  
I’m nervous. Edward sent me a quick email on Thursday telling me the movie and time. Tonight is our first date. This is a first of so many other things though. The first time I’ve been nervous on a date, the first international date, and the first date with a man that I have never seen in person, or even heard his voice, and the first date I have had at seven thirty in the morning. Granted where he is, it’s eight at night.   
I look to the clock, it’s seven fifteen; I have a few more minutes to get ready. Why I got dressed up, I don’t know. It just felt weird to go out on a date in my pajamas. I even did my hair and makeup. The funny thing is I know he won’t see me, but that didn’t stop me. I pour a fresh cup of coffee, and make myself comfortable on the couch. I put in the movie, get it to the play screen, and boot up my laptop making sure that my Google Talk is open. I see him log in, and quickly send him a message, letting him know I’m here.   
Bswan: Hi there.   
CplCullen: Well, good morning, beautiful. Are you ready for our first date?  
Bswan: I am. Want to hear something funny?  
CplCullen: Sure, what’s that?  
Bswan: It felt weird getting ready for a date at seven thirty in the morning, but I even got dressed and did my hair and makeup. Now it feels like a real date, but only with coffee and not wine.   
CplCullen: That’s too funny. Care to take a photo and send it to me? I’ll do the same. I would love to see what you look like for our first date.  
Bswan: Sure, that would be fun. So how much time do you have?  
CplCullen: I have the rest of the night off, so I’m all yours.   
Bswan: My doorbell is ringing, can you hold on just a moment?  
CplCullen: By all means, go answer it.   
I wonder who would be here this early. I walk to the door, and I am speechless when I open it. There standing in my door is a deliveryman holding the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. It’s not the typical roses, but an array of colors ranging from pinks, oranges to yellow. They are beautiful. I tip the deliveryman and make it back to my date.   
Bswan: I am back.   
CplCullen: Do you like them?  
Bswan: They are incredible, but how did you do this?  
CplCullen: I have my ways. I just wanted to make you smile. I only wish I could have been there to see it.   
I can’t believe that even so far away he managed to do this, or even thought to do this. No one has ever bought me flowers before.   
Bswan: Thank you so much. How was your day yesterday?  
CplCullen: It was long and tedious, but everyone was safe. So, that makes it a perfect day.   
Bswan: I agree. I didn’t do much; I cleaned the house, met with the girls.   
CplCullen: That sounds like fun. Did you gossip much?  
Bswan: Only about you. (JK)  
CplCullen: Sure you are. That’s fine; it’s great to have others to talk with.  
Bswan: It is. Do you have any close friends there with you?  
CplCullen: I do. My team and I are extremely close. We have to be, of course, but it runs deeper than that. I trust these men with my life, and they do the same. We are like a brotherhood, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.   
Bswan: I’m glad you have that bond. I could see how being with others you didn’t get along with could cause a challenge. By the way, how is your friend doing?  
CplCullen: He is healing quicker than we expected. He will be getting some time off, but thankfully, the injuries were not as severe as we first thought. He did ask me to thank you for the kind words, and the cookies.  
Bswan: So you got my package then?  
CplCullen: Yes. Thank you so much. I thought getting letters was great, but getting that box was so much better. There is nothing I love more than baked goods, and the cookies you sent were better than my mom’s, but don’t ever tell her I said that.   
Bswan: No worries, your secret is safe with me. I’m glad you liked them. I sent extras for you to share. I’m hoping you did.  
CplCullen: Define share…  
Bswan: Are you serious? Edward, did you eat the entire three dozen cookies all by yourself?  
CplCullen: I shared.  
Bswan: How many?  
CplCullen: Six.   
Bswan: That’s not sharing.   
CplCullen: Hey, it’s not my fault they were so good.   
Bswan: OK, but next time, I’ll send you four dozen, but you have to promise me that you will give at least one dozen away, preferably two, and you cannot eat them all at one time. You need to make them last.   
CplCullen: I make no promises, woman.   
Bswan: Oh, you are too funny there.   
CplCullen: I try. Besides, when it comes to baked goods, all bets and promises are off. They call to me, and who am I to deny them? So are we going to watch a movie or would you rather just talk?   
Bswan: Would it be bad if I said talk?  
CplCullen: Nope, I don’t think I would watch the movie much anyway. Not when I can talk to you and only have to wait like five seconds for a response. I would spend more time watching the computer screen than anything else.   
Bswan: Eager are you?  
CplCullen: With you, of course. Oh, the guys say hi.  
Bswan: Are they there?  
CplCullen: No, they were just passing through, but wanted me to tell you hi and…  
Bswan: And what?  
CplCullen: Sorry, I was typing as they were talking, and you don’t want to know.  
Bswan: Oh yes I do. You brought it up, now spill, Cullen.  
CplCullen: Feisty, I love it. They may have told me to keep my hands on the keyboard.   
Bswan: If you’re going to say things like that, please warn me. My computer almost wore my sip of coffee.   
CplCullen: Sorry, but in my defense you did ask.   
Bswan: Sure, but you started it.   
CplCullen: Ok, you win this one. So, what are your plans for later?  
Bswan: Not much, I need to answer a few emails from a couple students, and then shopping. The project is going exceptionally well, and most of the students are enjoying it.  
CplCullen: That’s great. I’m sure whoever is on the receiving end is enjoying them as well. Shopping sounds fun. I can’t remember the last time I went shopping, or what I even bought.   
Bswan: Not really, you have never met Alice. That girl can shop. I bet there are a lot of things you miss.   
CplCullen: Well, it could be worse.  
Bswan: How’s that?  
CplCullen: You could have two Alices.   
Bswan: True, that would be worse.   
CplCullen: So…  
Bswan: So…  
CplCullen: Well, I wanted to ask you something?  
Bswan: OK, you can ask me anything. You know I won’t lie to you.   
CplCullen: One sec, someone needs me really quick, can you hold on? I will only be gone two minutes max. Sorry.  
Bswan: Sure.   
I take another sip of coffee and begin to wonder what he wants to ask me. The date is fun so far. I’m enjoying being able to get instant responses and not having to wait for the mail. I’m finding that I like him a lot. I’m brought out of thought by the tone alerting me that he has responded. That was fast.   
CplCullen: Will you hold my hand so that I’ll keep it out of my pants.   
This time the coffee doesn’t stay in my mouth. I turn just in time to make sure it clears the computer. Where the hell did that come from? I stop and think for a moment, and I don’t think that is Edward. Maybe I should play along.   
Bswan: Well, what if I don’t want to hold your hand. Maybe I want to hold something else instead.   
I pause before I hit enter. I can’t believe I just wrote that. What in the hell has gotten into me. Oh well, it’s just fun and games, right?  
CplCullen: Then you are the perfect girl for him. He talks about you all the time, Bella this and Bella that. I think he likes you.   
Bswan: I so knew it wasn’t Edward. I hope it’s all good talk.   
CplCullen: Of course it’s good, but it’s nonstop. She's so pretty; you should see her eyes, and her hair, I just want to play with it. He wants to kiss you, and hold you, and make beautiful babies with you. He’s such a pansy. Fucker wants to hold your hand and smell your hair, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. I tell him he just needs to whack off and get it over with, or have cyber-sex with you. Would you be up for that?  
Bswan: Wow, does he actually say those things about me, and cyber-sex, really?  
CplCullen: And more, he’s just scared to tell you, and ya, have you ever done it? Don’t knock it till you try it, honey. Get a web cam, and you can make it real fun.  
Bswan: Why is he scared, and I take it you have partaken in that activity a time or two?  
CplCullen: He likes you and doesn’t want to scare you away. Oh best cookies ever, by the way, and fuck ya. It gets way too lonely over here, and besides, we are all stuck with a bunch of dudes. Everyone needs a bit of female company now and again; you know, hand cramps and all.   
Bswan: Thank you for the compliments on the cookies, and umm, ya…  
What the hell else am I supposed to say to that?  
CplCullen: No thank you, but can you send more? Like a lot more? And I’m really serious about the web sex, you can even use IM to have sexy talk, try it, he will love you forever.   
Bswan: Sure, I’ll bake some today, just for you. Who do I send them to?   
CplCullen: You can send them to me, Jasper Whitlock. Same address. Oh, and I should tell you he loves to moan your name. It’s all I hear at night, oh, Bella, yes, Bella, harder Bella. He’s coming back, got to go. Thanks again for the cookies.  
I like that Jasper. He needs to meet Alice. I wonder where he lives.  
CplCullen: Oh shit, I’m so sorry Bella. They set me up. One of my men called me out to talk to me, only to give Jasper the distraction he needed to talk to you. Do I want to scroll up and see what he wrote?  
Bswan: Hmm. Good questions. If it helps, I spit out my coffee at his first comment. Although maybe you should, I’d be curious to know if it’s all true.   
CplCullen: Not so sure I want to, but give me a second to read it.   
I wonder if he will be mad. I hope not; I thought it was quite funny. I decide that coffee is no longer a good idea and start laughing as I give him time to read what his friend wrote. I’m glad they can have fun like that. It’s nice to let loose and goof off, and I really am curious to know how much of it is true. Besides, the girls and I say much more.   
CplCullen: Bella, I am so sorry for that. Jasper is a bit of a wise-guy sometimes.   
Bswan: Don’t worry about it. I played along when I realized it wasn’t you. Besides, it was fun, but there is one question.  
CplCullen: What’s that, or do I not want to ask?  
Bswan: Is any of it true?  
CplCullen: Truth?  
Bswan: Yes the truth, silly.  
CplCullen: Yes.  
Bswan: How much?  
CplCullen: That, I choose not to share at this time, but one day I’ll tell you. Or maybe show you.  
Bswan: Why Corporeal Cullen, are you flirting with me?  
CplCullen: Is it working?  
Bswan: But of course, you are nothing if not charming, and I look forward to knowing the truth. Will you tell me any of it now?  
CplCullen: Maybe…   
Bswan: So before you got called away, you said there was something you wanted to ask me.   
CplCullen: Oh ya, well that will answer part of your question then. Yes, you will find out some of the truth right now.   
Bswan: Well, what is it?  
CplCullen: Now who’s the eager one?  
Bswan: Very funny Cullen, spill it.  
CplCullen: OK. OK. So, please tell me to fuck off if I’m too forward.   
Bswan: Just ask it already…  
CplCullen: I have a short leave coming up in October, and I was wondering if we could…I don’t know, maybe meet up and go on a real date?  
Bswan: Yes.   
CplCullen: Wow that was a fast answer.   
Bswan: Sorry. Truth is I think about you all the time. I know my dad would tell me I’m crazy for this, but I want to meet you. I want to see if there is anything more. Am I scared? Sure, a bit, but I’m excited as well, and we’ve already established you would have asked me out on day two, and I would have said yes.  
CplCullen: You don’t know how relieved I am.   
Bswan: Did you think I would say no?  
CplCullen: To be honest, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to move too fast, or scare you away. I know that we have both hinted that we feel something more, but I didn’t want to assume and then lose what we do have.  
Bswan: Well, now we both know for sure. I’m excited to meet you and see how it turns out. Send me the info on when you will be home, and we will make plans.   
CplCullen: Is it weird that I want to ask you to be my girl?  
Bswan: Why Mr. Cullen, are you asking me to be your girl or just thinking out loud.   
CplCullen: What would your answer be if I was asking?   
Bswan: Oh, you are a sly one aren’t you?   
CplCullen: Maybe…  
Bswan: Well I think it would be yes. It’s crazy, but I like you, and if we met in person and felt this, I would say yes. Besides, my gut, and Alice say go for it.   
CplCullen: Smart girl that Alice.   
Bswan: Well, no one bets against her. So are you asking or thinking.   
CplCullen: Asking.   
Bswan: Then yes.   
CplCullen: WOW, you don’t know how happy you just made me.   
Bswan: I do, Edward, I do.   
CplCullen: Well, I didn’t realize how late it was getting here. I need to be up early. Would you be terribly upset if I had to end our talk a bit early?  
Bswan: Of course not. You do what you need to do. Can we do this again sometime?  
CplCullen: I would love to. I will let you know the next time I get a free night, and I will email you when I get a chance to tomorrow. That way you will have the dates of my leave. We can make plans from there.   
Bswan: OK, I look forward to it.   
CplCullen: Goodnight my lady.   
Bswan: Aww, good night. Oh, and Edward…  
CplCullen: Ya…  
Bswan: Be sure to keep your hands above the belt, you wouldn’t want to ruin the only photo you have of me.   
CplCullen: Oh, you are just evil; I’m going to go kill Jasper now, sweet dreams.   
Bswan: Goodnight, stay safe for me.   
CplCullen: Always.


	14. Chapter 14

~MDE~  
Chapter 14

As I walk into the restaurant, I can’t help the smile that adorns my face. I know I will have to answer to the girls, but I don’t care what they think. I, Isabella Swan, have a boyfriend. Granted, I have never seen him in person, or even heard his voice, but I know he is kind, sweet, caring, and I can’t wait to get to know him better.   
I walk to the table, and yes, there may be a bit of a bounce in my step. What can I say? A man I have never met has captured a piece of my heart. I pull out my chair and sit across from Rose, who instantly sees a difference.   
“What’s got you so happy?” Rose asks.   
“Whatever are you talking about?” I reply with a giggle.   
Alice looks to Rose and smiles as if she’s just won the millions. “No way, it finally happened, didn’t it?”  
“What happened? What on earth are you talking about?” Rose looks utterly confused.   
“She is in love. I knew it. I can see it all over her face.”  
Rose looks at me in shock. She seems to be studdying my face,I think looking for something. I guess she found it, because suddenly her face is a mirror image of Alice’s, and anyone who knows Rose, knows she does not make that face.   
“It’s true. Wow, I never thought I’d see that day that you, my sweet little Bella would fall in love.”  
“Come on you two, I’m not in love,” just really much in ‘something’ I think to myself.  
“OK, so you may not be in love, but there is definitely a boy. Come on, tell me I’m wrong,” Alice says as she stares intently.  
“Maybe…”   
Suddenly, there is a loud slapping noise, and I see Alice’s hand bouncing off the table. She is all but jumping up and down and laughing. I love to see my friends this happy.  
“Spill, who is it? Is it that teacher at school that has been bugging you for a date?”  
“No.”  
“Then who is it,” Rose asks, getting more curious.   
My smile widens as I think of our date this morning. What it felt like to be called his girl.  
“Oh…my…god…It’s him isn’t it?” Alice smiles and Rose just looks clueless.   
“Who? OK, someone tell me what’s going on.”  
Alice looks at Rose as she explains.  
“It’s Edward, the pen pal, isn’t it?”   
“Wait, how can that be?”  
“Well, Rose, you see, I have been telling Bella that they are meant for each other.”  
“That again, come on, how can that happen under the circumstances?”  
These two could go on, and on forever if I let them.   
“Look, you’re right. We went on a date today.”  
I tell them about our date, and how it all came to be; me, the girl of one Corporal Edward Cullen. Alice is beaming. She has been trying to tell me all along, and maybe she was right. Rose warns me to be careful. Out of the three of us, she is the one that thinks everything through. She is the one that looks out for us, and worries. She is hard on the outside, but on the inside, she is so kind and warm.   
“So, do you two have any plans?” Rose asks.  
“Well, we are going to plan a few more internet dates. It was so much fun. I don’t know how it happened, but there is this pull to him. I have learned so much, and we like so many of the same things.”  
“Bella, how do you know it’s true? I mean, how do you know he is who he says?” My face falls a bit at her words. “Sweetie, that’s not what I mean. I just don’t want to see you hurt.”  
“I know, and I love you for caring, but I don’t know how to explain it. I just know he’s true. I can feel it deep in my gut that he cares. I trust him, maybe I shouldn’t, but I do, and I want to see where it goes.”  
We chat and have a few more drinks before parting ways. When I sit down, I spot the laptop and smile. I can’t wait to get my fingers on it, and talk to him. I want to share my day with him and tell him how happy my friends are for us. I want to share myself with him. So that’s what I do. 

To: cplecullen@gmail.com  
Subject: Hello boyfriend  
Date: 8/5/2011  
My dear Edward,   
I just got home from a girl's night. I know I told you that you could never be in the know of a girl’s night, but I think I can share this once. They are happy for us. Yes, I may have caved at the first round of questions. You, Edward, have done something to me. They could see a change in me as soon as I walked in the room. We had a long conversation, and I couldn’t wait to get home and write to you, my boyfriend.   
God, I love saying that. I feel like such a schoolgirl. Today, I have had so much energy. After our date this morning, I went shopping. I know, what’s so funny about that, well, I hate shopping, but I went. It was so hard not to write to you all day, but I didn’t want to suddenly turn into the crazy stalker girl as soon as we started dating. I’m sorry about all the rambling; I am just one happy girl.   
I hope you have a great day. If you are not up already, you will be soon. I can’t wait until our next internet date. I had a great time, thank you for the idea. Maybe next time we will actually watch a movie; then again, maybe not. So how does this work, this type of dating? It’s not like we can go to dinner and a movie. Have you ever done this before? I know I seem all over the place, and I’m sorry. You will learn that when I’m happy, I tend to ramble, and my mind jumps, and as you can tell from the email, I’m happy.  
In all seriousness, I’m really looking forward to getting to know you and to see where this takes us. I don’t want to think of what ifs, I just want to enjoy it. No matter where it takes us. I care for you Edward; I can’t wait to get to know you better. I already feel like I know so much, but I know there is so much more to you. I want to know that part of you.   
I mailed you a package today; let me know when you get it. There are also two containers of cookies in it. Please be sure to give one to Jasper. When I was talking to him this morning, he mentioned that he wanted some. I will know if you don’t share, so don’t even try to think about it.   
Well, I am going to head to bed now. Please be safe. I know I tell you that all the time, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I know you have a family to go home to, but you have me now, and I’m here for you. I need you to be safe for me, for us.   
Goodnight, Edward.   
Your girl,   
Bella


	15. Chapter 15

~MDE~  
Chapter 15 

To: bswan@gmail.com  
Subject: My Girl  
Date: 8/9/2011

Bella,   
Sorry I haven’t been able to write to you sooner. It’s been a bit busy around here, and this is the first time I’ve had a free moment to myself. I’m glad you had a good time with the girls. I hope to one day meet them. That is after I meet you in person.   
You asked how this will work, us, dating. I wish I had an easy answer, but I don’t. You are the first girl I have dated in a long time. I have never had a girlfriend while I have been overseas. I am sure we can figure it out as we go, and as for the, movie I can’t wait till our next date night.   
I heard from my mom today, and I was right. She had a field day with my last letter. She wants me to tell her all about you. I can’t wait to see what she will say once I tell her that we are dating. She was excited and happy for us. She wanted me to tell you hello, and that she hopes to one day meet you. She also included a letter from my brother. It seems my mom has told everyone about you, and there will be a lot to talk about on my next leave. Emmett seems to have met someone new. He says he can’t wait for me to meet him. They are all so happy that I finally put myself out there. Emmett said it’s about time I realized that it’s no fun living life alone.   
Jasper and the guys have been on my ass for the last few days. It seems I have a smile that won’t seem to leave. He says 'thank you' for the cookies, by the way. Yes, you will be pleased to know that I shared not only one, but two dozen. I was hoping that if you knew I would share more, then you would bake more. They were the best cookies ever. Thank you for the letters for the guys as well. They all want me to tell you hi and informed me that they will write you a thank-you note soon.   
So when I come home, I will have three weeks. I would love to spend a ton of time with you. Maybe we can plan a get together with the girls. I can’t wait to get to see that side of you. You talk about them, and I can almost see you laughing with them. I can see you girls with a few drinks, laughing, and talking about boys, and now you have a boy to talk about.   
Speaking of having a boy, I can’t tell you what it meant to see you call yourself my girl. I love the sound of that, and I secretly love your rambling. I love that I can write what I’m thinking and feeling and not have to worry about how you will take it. That’s a great start to a relationship, and I want to see this one last. So what movie do you want to watch next time? I will let you choose, I may not be able to guarantee that we will watch it, but even if we end up talking the entire time, I’ll be happy. I get one night a month free, but there are some other times that we are free. I will let you know when I get the date of my next night off.   
So what is there to do where you live? I have never heard of Forks before. I’m assuming that it’s a smaller town, am I right? Are there fun things to do around town, or do you venture out? What are some of the other things you and the girls like to do?   
I’m sorry you worry about me. Please know that I am always safe. I have so much waiting for me back home, and now there is one more person waiting. I have taken to that notion well. I really like knowing that you are there thinking of me, as I am thinking of you. If I must confess, it’s been quite a lot lately. I think of things that I would love to do when I come home. I want to take you to a real movie, and out to dinner. I want to take you dancing, and go for walks. I can’t tell you how much that excites me.   
Well, I must be going now. Please have a great day, and know that I am thinking of you. I promise to be safe and aware of my surroundings. Please say hi to the girls for me, and tell them to keep you company until I can be there for you.   
Yours,  
Edward.


	16. Chapter 16

~MDE~  
Chapter 16

To: cplecullen@gmail.com   
Subject: wow, what a summer  
Date: August 15, 2011

My Dear Edward,   
I love this time of summer. I entirely forgot to tell you what I did last weekend. I was so caught up in our date, it slipped my mind. So, last weekend I went to the Seattle Seafair for Fleet week. Have you ever been? It is so much fun, and I go every year. There are all these ships that come into the bay. This year, there were ships from the Navy, Coast guard, and the Canadian Navy. You can even take a tour of some of the ships. That’s my favorite part of the time there. I love the Destroyers.   
I also went with the girls this week to the local county fair where I proceeded to eat my weight in junk food, and ride every ride there; some more than once. Last night was incredible though. We went to Seattle to see Katy Perry live in concert. It was the best show I have been to yet. It was loud and crowded, and a blast. So, as you can see, I have been super busy. Maybe, if you are home around this time next year, we can go together.  
I’m excited that school starts in a few weeks. I can’t wait to hear how well the children’s pen pal assignments went. I truly hope they got something more than writing out of it, and I hope that some continue to write. Rose and Alice mailed out a few letters for your men. They are being mailed to you but are more for your entire group than any one individual. They said ‘why give their words to just one soldier, when you can all benefit from it’. I seriously love those two. OH, and speaking of the girls, they can’t wait to meet you. They are already planning an outing for all of us when you come home on leave. I get to start my school shopping soon as well. Each year, I say I will start sooner, but it never happens. I’m the same with holidays. I tend to wait until the last minute.   
I’m glad your mom is happy for you. She sounds like an amazing woman. You know, if you want, you can give her my email. I would love to tell her hi. I hope the guys aren’t on your ass too much. Besides, tell them it’s my ass now and to back off, or they get no more cookies. ‘Between you and me, that will never happen. I love to bake, and it makes you happy, but they don’t need to know that.’   
Forks is boring, and there honestly isn’t much to do. Mostly, if we want to do anything fun, we head to Port Angles, but we enjoy the many trails and beaches that the area has to offer. When the weather is agreeable that is. It’s quiet here, and I like it that way. We often rotate houses and just get together and talk or play games. Sadly, it really is kind of boring, but it’s home.   
So, when will you know when your leave is? I’m so excited to finally see you in person. I told my dad about you. He wanted to know why I looked so happy. He would like to meet you when you come home if you are up to it. Maybe we could go to dinner or something. Hell, if you want, we can maybe invite your parents as well, and just have everyone meet all at once; if that’s not too awkward for you. I know we just started dating, but it’s an idea.   
Well, I have an early day tomorrow. I have a few workshops at the school, and then I will be out of town with the girls. I won’t be home until the twentieth. We take an end of year vacation. This year we are going to Vegas. I’m so excited. I have never been, but I’ve always wanted to. I’m not sure how much time I will have to check my email, so if I don’t get back to you, I’m sorry, but please know that I will be thinking of you. We are staying in the Luxor; I mean, come on, who in their right minds wouldn’t love to stay in a freaking pyramid. We are going to see a few shows and do a bit of gambling. It should be so much fun. I will be sure to tell you all about it when I get home.   
Stay safe for me, I’m sending you a bit of my heart.   
Good night Edward,   
Bella


	17. Chapter 17

~MDE~  
Chapter 17

Vegas has been a blast so far. I can see why people come here. There are so many different things to do, and see. I have only been here a few days, and I know there will not be enough time this week. I wonder if Edward would ever come here with me. That would make a fun trip. Tonight we are going to the Coyote Ugly bar. It’s a place I have always wanted to visit. The girls and I leave in about three hours, so I head back to my room to finally check my email. 

To: bswan@gmail.com  
Subject: Have Fun  
Date: 8/17/2011  
My dearest Bella,   
Please have a great time in Vegas, but at the same time, stay safe. I have been there once, and it was a great time, but there are a lot of shady people there as well, and well, if I can’t be there with you… please watch out for yourself. Do me a favor, place a bet for me. I’m thinking Roulette, and place as much as you want on red nine and black 13. If you lose, I’ll pay you back. You will also have to let me know how the hotel was. I have always wanted to stay there, but when I went, we stayed at the Palms. It was a great hotel, but if I ever go back, I want to stay some place new.   
The Seafair sounds amazing. No, I have never been there. I have seen my share of ships though, as we sometimes travel with the Navy. I love hearing about your outings. It’s almost as if I can enjoy them with you. I miss the local fairs. My favorite was always the fried dough. Rides were always a great time too. You are really making me miss home. Please don’t take that the wrong way, I really do love hearing about your time, it just makes me think of all the things I want to do when I get home.   
Would you mind planning a few things for us? I won’t have any idea what is going on, and I really want to take you out; even if it’s you that is planning it. I really don’t mind what we do. I just want to be able to go out and enjoy each other; hold your hand as we walk down the street. Maybe steel a kiss or two at the movies. OK, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself there, but a guy can dream, right?  
I’m glad you had a great time at the concert. I saw her once when she came overseas. She does put on a good show. Have you seen any others in concert? I have been able to see so many shows over here. They always build moral, and we have a great time.   
Were you serious about my mom and emails? I mean, I would love for you to get to know her, and I know she can’t wait to meet you, but she can get a bit overbearing. Not in a bad way…well, it’s hard to explain until you meet her. Just let me know for sure. The guys have been good so far. I did find out that my brother had something to do with Jasper and our date night. Sure, the guys and I goof off, but this had my brother written all over it. Out of any one, it’s been my mom on my case more lately. I have never gotten so many letters from her. It seems she writes me almost once a week. She says it’s just to say hi, but I know she is looking for dirt on us. God, I love my mom.   
I will know the dates of my leave by the end of the week. If you would like to get together with all of our parents, I am down for that. Can we just wait a few days? I would really like to just be with you at first. I know this is so easy on paper and email, and I just want to make sure it’s not awkward.   
Ok, so I have to run. Know that I am thinking of you, and have a great time. There will also be a surprise for you sometime this week. 

Yours,  
Edward

 

I decide I still have time and begin to write him back. 

To: cplecullen@gmail.com   
Subject: missing you   
Date: August 18, 2011  
My dear Edward,   
OK, so subject says it all. I just got a few moments and was able to check my email. I was so happy to see yours waiting there for me. I am having a blast, and I promise that I am being careful. I have been thinking of you a lot while I’m here and was thinking it would make a great trip for the two of us some day. I won’t be doing any more gambling tonight, but I promise to place your bet tomorrow. Don’t think I didn’t realize what the numbers were either.   
Tonight, we are going to the Coyote Ugly Bar. The girls and I have always wanted to go, and tonight, we’re getting our drink on. One more thing I love about Vegas…cabs. No walking tonight for this girl.   
Shit, the phone just started ringing; it must be one of the girls. I will try to write more tonight, if I can’t, I’ll be back tomorrow.   
Bella  
I quickly hit send on the email and rush to answer the phone before whoever is calling hangs up. I pick the receiver up and place it to my ear as I wonder why the girls called my room and not my cell.   
“Hello,” I say.   
“Hello. Is this Isabella Swan’s room?” It’s a male voice that I don’t recognize.   
“Yes, this is she. Can I help you?” I begin to wonder if something has happened.  
“I’m sorry to call…” This can’t be good. My stomach drops.   
“Look, who is this?” I ask. I don’t mean to sound rude, but there is a strange man calling my hotel room, and let’s face it, there are not many people that have my room number.   
“I’m sorry if I scared you. It’s me, Edward.” My breathing stops. Is it really him? I have dreamt of his voice, and here he is calling me.  
“Edward, is it really you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Wow, how did you find me?”  
“Well, you told me where you were staying, and I just hoped that there was no one else staying there with the same name as you. Are you upset that I called?”  
“No, of course not, it’s just a surprise that’s all.”  
“I know we hadn’t talked about calling each other. It’s just that I missed you, and I had some free time this morning.”  
“Oh, Edward, I missed you too. I was just responding to your email when I heard the phone ring.”  
“Sorry to interrupt you. Are you free?”  
“I am for a bit. The girls and I are going out tonight, but I have a few hours. How is your day?”  
“It’s still really early here, so not much to report.”  
“Is this what you meant by you had a surprise for me this week?”  
“Part of it,” he says with a laugh.  
“OK, out with the rest.” I can’t believe I’m talking to him. I thought this day would never come.  
“I see your eagerness hasn’t changed.”  
“OK, now you are poking fun.” I pretend to sound hurt.  
“I know you better than that. You dish it out just as much. No, the surprise was that I have the dates of my leave.”  
“You do? When is it?”  
“I will be home September tenth, and returning October first.”  
“That’s amazing. So what are your plans?”  
“I will return home at first. That way I can check on my house and catch up with my family. I was hoping that I could meet you after school on your birthday. Maybe if you don’t have plans, I could take you out?”  
“I think that sounds great. The girls and I plan on going out that weekend; you are more than welcome to join us.”  
“That sounds great. As long as the girls won’t mind that is.”  
“Of course they won’t mind. It will be great to have you there.”  
“Great. I don’t have much time, but I wanted to call you and tell you I was thinking of you. How about you make reservations wherever you want for your birthday, and we will make it a date.”  
“Sure. I’m sorry you have to go so soon. Do you get much time for a phone?”  
“Not normally, and I usually call home, but I needed to hear your voice. I have been dreaming of it and needed to see if it was a beautiful as your photo.”  
I can’t believe his words. He is so sweet, and it causes my eyes to water. I can’t believe he used time he could have used to talk to his family to call me.   
“Thank you for that. I have wanted to hear your voice as well.”  
“It is you know.”  
“What is?”  
“Your voice, it sounds like an angel. Better than any dream I have ever had. Bella, I’m sorry. I wish I had more time, but I need to go. I promise to write to you as soon as I can.”  
“OK. Please be safe, Edward. I will write to you when I get home.”  
“Have fun, stay safe. I’ll be thinking of you.”  
“You too my dear, oh, wait, let me give you my cell number.” I give him my cell number and whisper my goodbye into the phone as I hear him hang up.


	18. Chapter 18

~MDE~  
Chapter 18

To: bswan@gmail.com  
Subject: Soon  
Date: 8/25/2011  
My dearest Bella,   
I’m sorry it’s been almost a week. Things have been crazy around here. I miss the sound of your voice like crazy; even though I have only heard it once. I swear I fall just a bit harder with each new thing we do together. I never thought this summer would turn out this way, but I am incredibly happy it did. It’s as if I were missing something. Only, I didn’t know what I was missing. It’s you, Bella.  
Wow, if I feel this way now, what will it be like when I see you in just over two weeks? The anticipation is amazing and frightening at the same time. I just don’t want to mess this up, and I don’t want it to be awkward when we do meet in person. I’ve been looking at your photo more and more lately, and I just know you will be more beautiful in person. How could you not?  
So, enough with the mushy; I have something that will make you laugh. I was talking to my brother the other day, and guess what I found out? It wasn’t only the guys that put Jasper up to butting in on our date. My brother was in on it as well. Did I forget to tell you that Jasper and Emmett know each other? Well, they do, and it seems like they were all in on it. It makes sense now, as that sort of prank is more Emmett than Jasper. Jasper is more the type to mess with you intellectually, and Emmett, well he will mess with you like he is five. It seems he felt left out on the ability to prank me and planted the seed.   
Speaking of the family, my mother has asked that I provide you with her email address. She would like to get to know the girl who turned her “emotionally unavailable son” (her words not mine) into a sap. She seems to think that the reason I didn’t have someone in my life was because I didn’t let anyone in, and I refused to let down my walls. The truth is, I know how hard this life is. Maybe I was unavailable, but it was just because I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but then your letter came. There was something in your words that made me want to open up. I’m so glad I did. I almost missed out on something great. Oh no, here we go with the mush again.   
So, did you place my bet? How did we do? Tell me all about your trip. Do I need to beat any one up? You know I can kill a man with my bare hands. OK, so maybe I don’t need to go that far, but tell me you were safe.   
I would love to call you again when I get free time. I can write more often than call. It’s not often that I have a secure line available.   
Not to ruin any surprise, but you may get your birthday gift early. I have gone ahead and ordered it, but I didn’t want to risk it being late. You can choose not to open it until your birthday if you want, but I won’t get mad if you open it when you get it.   
I will try to get one more letter in before I see you in a few weeks, but it can get extremely busy before a leave, even more so than it has been. If I don’t get a chance; know that I am thinking of you, and I will see you soon.   
Goodnight, my beautiful Bella.   
Edward


	19. Chapter 19

~MDE~  
Chapter 19  
To: cplecullen@gmail.com   
Subject: One more week  
Date: September 3, 2011  
My dear Edward,  
One week; seven days are all that stand between looking at your photo and looking at you in person. See, I can add mush as well. In all honestly, I love your mush. I think it’s amazing when a man can talk about how he feels. I don’t know how you were before my letters, but you are far from emotionally unavailable. I have never met a man that can express himself the way you do. You’re not afraid to tell it like it is. Don’t change that.   
I know what you mean about the anticipation. The girls keep telling me I’m worse than a kid at Christmas. I’m told I’m smiling and laughing more, and that I’m just over all happier. I never went into this looking for romance. In fact, I hadn’t been looking at all. If you asked me at the end of summer if I was content and happy; I would have said yes. I see the difference now. You make this so much better. You make me better.   
In case you didn’t realize, you forgot to add your mom’s email. I would love to talk to her and say hello. It does scare me a bit. I never did like meeting the parents. Well, no, not that I didn’t like it. Those were the wrong words. It always made me uncomfortable. I guess it was always my own insecurities. I just really want her to like me.   
So onto Vegas; yes, I placed your bet. You are one lucky man. You won four hundred bucks on that bet. I have it waiting for you. It was fun overall. I didn’t lose much, and the bars were a blast. We danced and laughed. It was such a great experience. I can assure you I was more than safe. I will let you in on a secret. When the girls and I go out alone we all have a set of fake rings. They look amazingly real, expensive, and appear to be wedding bands. When we are not with someone, we use them to deter the ones we are not interested in and would take them off when we saw someone we were. They come in great when we do have a boyfriend as well. All we have to do is flash the hand, and poof, they are gone.   
I love that your brother can prank like that. Want to know another secret? I love to prank people as well. I think everyone needs a bit of a laugh now and again; as long as it is done with taste and class. Well most of the time anyway.   
Thank you for the gift, but you didn’t have to. I promise I will try not to open it until you get here. I would love to open it with you next to me. Don’t worry about not being able to call. I understand that there are limits on how we can communicate and how often. I will just make use of the time you are here. I have started to plan some things for us to day. Dinner for my birthday is all set up at my favorite restaurant. I didn’t plan too much because I wanted your input on some of the things we do.   
Well, I am off to finish planning for school. Please stay safe. I will see you soon.   
Bella.


	20. Chapter 20

~MDE~  
Chapter   
“So, Bella, how much longer until Edward comes?” Alice says as we sit in the front lawn enjoying a tall drink and stalking the mail. I’ve been hoping to get one last letter before he comes home.   
“Three days. I can’t believe that in three days I get to meet him in person.”   
“So what are your plans?”  
“We are going to dinner for my birthday, and we will all get together over the weekend to celebrate. I can’t believe it, Alice. I can’t believe that in three days I get to see him, talk to him, and touch him. What if there isn’t a physical connection?”  
“Bella, calm down, of course there will be.”  
“But what if there isn’t. I think I may be in love with him, and I don’t want anything to go wrong.”  
I look out over the yard and begin to picture what it will be like with him here. I think of what it could be if this were it.   
“Bella, honey, come on and join us.” I look up from my book and smile as I see Edward and our son playing in the small swimming pool we bought today. I can’t get over the fact at how much Mason looks like his dad. I still look at him and feel my insides tingle. I stand up and rub my expanding belly as I walk to join my family.   
“Bella…hello…Bella.”   
I snap out of my daydream to notice her trying to get my attention. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?”  
“Where were you just now?”  
“I was just daydreaming.”  
“It must have been great with the smile that you had on your face.” I can feel my face begin to change color as I realize just how hard I’m falling. We just get ready to start talking again when I notice the mailman. Lately, I have been stalking him for a different reason. Edward informed me that there is a gift coming, and I am so excited to get it. It will be hard not to open it, but I really want him with me. I smile as I get closer and see him holding a package in his hand. I sign for the box, take the mail that accompanies it, and walk back to join Alice. I start sifting through the envelopes and notice there is a letter from Edward. I smile as I look at the crisp white paper.   
“Go ahead and open it. I will go ahead and make a new pitcher of drinks.”  
I thank her as I slide my finger under the flap trying not to get a paper cut in my haste to read his words. I pull out the folded paper and begin to read. My smile soon begins to fade. My chest tightens; the air gets caught in my lungs; refusing to move either in or out, and my hands stiffen and grip the paper like it’s my life line. There is a pounding in my chest where my heart once beat gently. Only now, there is a pounding so loud that I no longer hear the sounds of late summer. Water begins to fall on the paper, and I know I should get out of the rain, but my body is frozen. Soon, I realize it’s not rain, but tears. I can’t move, can’t breathe, and I can’t think. I can hear someone calling my name in the distance, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the words that are written; the words that he wrote. I feel someone touch me; try to take the paper form my hands. I grip it harder. They can’t take this from me.   
I have no idea how much time has passed but there are more voices now. My body violently shakes, and I’m not sure if it’s from the sobs that are ripping though my body, or the hands that are touching me, trying to get my attention.   
More time has passed, but I have no way of knowing. I’m no longer outside in the warm sunshine. No, I’m lying in my bed with no recognition of getting here. The paper that holds the words is still embedded in my hands. I think they have given up trying to take it from me. It’s a good thing; no one will ever take this from me. My body becomes weak, tired, and when I can no longer fight it; I fall into a restless sleep. 

Date: 9/1/2011  
My dearest Bella,   
I had hoped you would never get this letter, but because you are reading this, it means that things have gone wrong. In just a few short days, I should be in your arms, but you now know that won’t happen, and I can’t begin to tell you how much that hurts. I will not be coming home for your birthday. There was a mission that came up, and I have to leave now. I never wanted you to read this. I don’t have access to a computer right now, so I’m writing you this by hand; besides, these are not words someone can say in an email any way.   
I’m sorry, Bella. I’m sorry that I will not be there for you. I hope to God you never have to read this, but I can’t go on this mission without making sure you know how I feel. You have to know that every word I said to you was the truth. I never knew I was looking for you until I read your first letter. I knew you were special even then. There was something that drew me in, and I was compelled to write you back.   
Bella, you gave me hope, something to smile at, and someone to look after me. I wish I had the chance to tell you this before, but I love you. I know that it may sound crazy, and too soon, but I do. I have never been in love, and I often wondered if I would know it if I found it. I know it, love. I’ve known it for a while, but I didn’t want the first time you heard those words to be on paper, or email. I needed you to hear them while I was standing in front of you. I needed you to be in my arms, so I could finally kiss you, and tell you just how much I love you. I’m so sorry you had to hear these words this way, but you have to know, I could never let you go on not knowing.   
I have other letters like this. One to my parents, and my brother, but this one…God, this is so hard to write. I don’t know how to tell you goodbye. I don’t want to. I don’t know how to tell you that it will be OK. Bella, I’m sorry. I love you so much, and I can’t be there when you will need me the most. I hope you are not alone when you read this. You will need the support of your friends.   
There is so much I need to say, but don’t know how. I never expected to find someone like you; no, I always wanted it, but never really thought I would find it. Why does this have to happen now? I just found you, and now I have to leave you. It is not by choice, but that doesn’t make it better. I’m supposed to be with you forever. We are supposed to have it all, and now, you will never feel my love for you. I hate that you are hurting so much right now.   
I will never get to touch you, hold you, and love you. I will never get to kiss your lips, or taste you. I will never get to hear you tell me you love me, or be there to have make-up sex after our first fight. I will never get to see you walk to me on our wedding day; and I wanted that more than anything. I often pictured it at night. I could see you smile at me as you slowly walked my way. I could see how elegant you’d look in your dress. I will never see you get frustrated when you can no longer see your feet, because our baby is that close to being born. Bella, I never told you because I didn’t want to scare you, but you need to know it all. I need you to know how much I wanted with you. Baby, I swear I’m not telling you this to make it harder than it already is, but I need to know you knew it all.   
I hate that I will miss out on so much; that we will miss out on so much, but what I hate more is that you will get it from someone else. You have to move on, love. I know that you will one day find someone that you can love, and who can give you all these things. If it’s not too much to ask, please just don’t forget about me. I love you, so much.   
I can’t seem to end this. I don’t want to say goodbye. Please just know how much I love you. Keep that with you forever, and never, ever forget what you mean to me.  
I love you,  
Edward.


	21. Chapter 21

~MDE~  
Chapter 21

I wake from a fitful sleep, hoping and praying that it was all a nightmare. The letter that is still in my hands tells me otherwise. The pain comes rushing back as I realize he will never come home. He won’t be here for my birthday, or any other day. When it becomes too much, I scream. It’s the only way I can seem to let go of all the emotions that are building in me. The noise, however, brings Alice and Rose.   
“Bella, are you okay?” Alice asks before she even has the door open. Once the girls look at me, they are instantly on the bed with me, holding me.   
“It will be okay,” Rose whispers softly in my ear.  
“How can you say that? He’s gone. Why did this have to happen?”  
“I don’t know, sweetie. It will take some time, but it will get better.”  
“I don’t think it can. I love him. I love a man that I will never meet in person. It’s not fair.”  
I spend the rest of the day in bed. I manage to evade the girls’ questions, and once they realize I’m in no mood to talk, they leave me be. I know they are still here; I can hear the noise from downstairs, but they leave me alone. They know what I need right now. They both understand that I need them close but need to be alone at the same time. They are the best friends a girl could have.   
~MDE~  
I should be in class right now; teaching and molding young minds, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s been two weeks since I got Edward’s letter, and I still can’t seem to accept it. I was hoping it was a mistake; that he would show up on my birthday with some crazy explanation, but as my birthday came and went, I realized he wasn’t coming. It took me four days to get out of bed, and even then, Rose and Alice had to drag me out. They stayed that first night and held me as I cried. They told me how much they loved me, how sorry they were, and dried their tears along with mine. I managed to eat small amounts, and they convinced me to take a hot bath. It did help relieve some of the tension in my body, but it still didn’t make things better.  
I called the school and took some time off. I just can’t go back; not yet anyway. I have tried to get in contact with his family, but he never gave me their contact information. I tried searching, but so far, I have come up empty. That hurts the most. I can’t even find out when and where his funeral will be. I have watched the news to see if there is any information, but I have heard nothing. I have no way to get closure or to say goodbye, but that’s just it; I don’t want to say goodbye. I know now that I love him. I knew I felt so much for him, but I know it’s love. I love that man with every cell in my body, and he will never know it. He will never hear me say the words. The letter has not left my side; if it’s not in my hand, it is in my pocket somewhere. I can’t help but read it over and over again. He loved me, he felt the same way, and now it’s over before it really had a chance to begin.   
Why did this happen? Why did I finally find the man I want forever with, only to have him taken away? It’s not fair. I can’t eat, sleep, or even think right. There is so much pain in my body, and I don’t know how to cope. So, I don’t. I hardly leave my bed, and I don’t go out unless it's needed. The girls are worried, but they don’t understand. How could they? They have never lost anyone like I have. How could they even begin to fathom the pain I feel?  
I want to write to Jasper and see if he will give me his family’s contact information, but I’m scared. Will they want to hear from me? I can only imagine the pain they feel. I decide it won’t hurt to ask. Maybe this way I can go to him; if only to say goodbye.   
September, 24, 2011  
To: jwhitlock@gmail.com  
Subject: Hi.   
Dear Jasper,   
I hope it’s okay that I reach out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t even know what happened or if you are okay. I pray that you are. I wish I had some way of knowing, but I’m not sure the answers will ever be there. I am writing to you for a few reasons. One, I needed to make sure you are okay and safe. Two, I needed to tell you I’m sorry. I feel the need to tell you that I love him, and I know that you are hurting as well. I wish I could take that pain away. The final reason is that I have a question for you. I was wondering if you may be able to provide me with his family’s contact information. I would love to get in touch with them and give them my condolences. I would also like to know where he will be laid to rest so I can talk to him. I need to tell him how I feel, and I hate knowing I can’t. If this is too much to ask, I understand, but I just needed to know.   
I hope to hear that you are safe,   
Bella.

I send off the email with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart that he will respond. I look up from the computer and notice the sun is shining today. I see the front yard where I dreamed of a family playing. Only now, I see nothing. His letter said to move on, but how can I? This isn’t like it was with Jake. Deep down, I guess I always knew he wasn’t the one, but this time, this time I know without a doubt he was it for me, and now he’s gone.


	22. Chapter 22

~MDE~  
Chapter 22

October, 2011

I guess you could say life is getting a bit easier. I haven’t heard from Jasper, and I worry that something has happened to him as well, and I will never know. I knew this was always a possibility but never thought it would happen. I’ve been getting around more, and getting out. The girls don’t look as wary around me as much. They are still worried, but they understand it will take time to heal, so they don’t push too hard. I went back to work last week. As hard as it was, I needed to do it. We have started going over the summer assignment, but I haven’t been able to tell them anything about my dear Edward yet.   
The responses have been astounding. There were a few who only did it because they had to, but almost everyone got into it. You can see it in their faces; the joy, as they share their letters. We have decided to focus on one student per week. I give the student their graded letters back at the beginning of their week, and we spend some time each day talking about the experience. We go over what we learned about the person we were writing to and how their writing style may or may not have changed. It was nice to see them pick up on the mistakes in the letters that they received.   
There have been a few that have asked me about my summer writing, and I have held off a bit. I know my story is not a happy one and don’t want to upset them. They do know that I was out in the beginning of the semester, but don’t know why. I have decided that over thanksgiving I will begin to share my story with them. I am incredibly thankful of the time I got to share with him, and it could be a great learning experience for them.   
I have also been trying to find ways to deal with my grief. It’s so much harder not having a place I can go to talk to him. When I lost my mom, I went to talk to her all the time. On a rough day, my dad would find me curled up against her headstone telling her all about it. I don’t have that with him, and I’m having a hard time finding ways to vent my pain, and anger. That’s been my new emotion. There are some days where I am incredibly angry. Not knowing what happened, or why he was taken from me; I just don’t understand. Alice suggested that I write to him and tell him everything. I thought it was stupid at first, but now, I’m beginning to wonder.   
It would be a way to get all my feelings out. There is so much bottled up, and I know it’s not healthy, but I’m afraid if I put them on paper, that it’s really final. I know he’s never coming, but this way, I can keep the hope that maybe he will. That maybe there was a mistake. I dry my eyes and decide to try again. 

October 19, 2011  
My dear Edward,   
I don’t know if this will help, but I need to get it out. I miss you. I miss your words, your crazy questions, and your sweet comments you always seemed to stick in. I miss the feeling of waiting for my mailman, or stalking my inbox. I always got an amazingly gentle swirling feeling when I knew I would get to read your words. In a way, I think this brought us closer. There was no need to try and look our best or have the right body language, no, we could just be us and write what we felt. It was more honest that way. It allowed us to get to know each other with no expectations, and I fell in love.   
I wish more than anything that I could tell you that; that you would know I love you too. I wish I had the courage to tell you before. Before I got your last letter, I had been wondering if this was love, and when I read your words, it hit me like a freight train. I knew without a doubt that I loved you; that I still do.   
You brought something to my life that no man will ever bring. I’m not even sure if there are words to explain it. I never set out to fall in love when I gave this assignment. I only did it myself because I was asking my students to work over the summer, and it was only fair, but I don’t regret it one bit.   
I miss you so much that it hurts. The pain I feel has not even begun to subside, and I’m not sure it ever will. Tell me how to make it better. Tell me how to move on, because I can’t find a way. You tell me that I will find someone to love, but it won’t happen. I already found him. Edward, you are my one true love, and I will never get that back. I told you once before I will not settle and anything less than you would be just that.   
I love you, and I don’t know how to feel better. I will never get to see you smile in person, hear your laugh again, or just touch you. There were so many things I wanted with you, and now…now, I will never know them. It’s not fair. I told you to be safe; I told you to come home to me. Why? Why did this have to happen? I just don’t understand. How could you love me and then let this happen? Why did you have to hurt me this way? I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it. I’m just so angry, and I have no one to lash out at. I have no clue what happened to you, and I hate that.  
I love you so much it hurts. I mean it physically hurts. There is heaviness in my body that won’t go away. Why can’t you be here to make it stop? I just want to love you. I just want to be with you, but it will never happen. I don’t know how much more I can cry; there can’t be much left.   
I have tried everything to locate you, to find out what happened, to tell you good bye, but I can’t. I even wrote Jasper, but have gotten no response. My stomach turns when I think about what may have happened. I know I shouldn’t, but there are too many stories of what happens over there, and my mind wonders. Please tell me you didn’t suffer. I don’t think I could handle that.   
I still have your gift. It came the same day as your letter, but I can’t open it. It’s the only thing besides your love and words that you have given me. Well, that’s not true. You have given me so much, but it’s the one physical thing, and I can’t bear to open it. Maybe one day I can, but not yet.   
I’m emotionally drained right now, so I’m going to go, but I love you. If you are up there watching, please hear me when I say I love you so much.  
Forever your girl,   
Bella

 

November 1, 2011  
My dear Edward,   
I miss you so much. It’s getting better day by day, but there is still so much pain. The class is asking about you still. I will share our story soon. You will never know how much I wish you were here. I dreamed so much for us, and now, it will never come true. I don’t know if I will ever find a love like we shared. I hope you knew how much I cared for you. I wish there was a way to tell you.   
I dread looking at my email now, as I know that there will not be a letter from you. I want so much to read your words, to know about your day. I really did love you. I still do. I still don’t understand why this had to happen. Why did you have to get taken away from me? It’s really not fair.   
I still have not been able to open your gift. The girls have told me to open it, that maybe it will help, but I just can’t. You gave me whatever is in that box, and by keeping it there, well it’s like there is still something I can look forward to. It will always be one last gift from you.  
I dream of you every night, and I often wonder if it is your way of contacting me. That it’s your way of watching over me, and letting me know you still care, and are always with me.   
Bella  
November 2011  
“Okay class, settle down,” I say as I prepare to start class. It’s the week of Thanksgiving, and this is the week that I share my story with the kids. It still hurts like hell, but it’s needed. I have spent many nights wondering just how much to tell them. I’m still not sure if I should tell them that we fell in love, or that we were dating. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.   
“So today you get to learn about Corporal Edward Cullen.” I watch their faces as I proceed to tell them about my Edward. I answer a few questions along the way and find it easier to talk about than expected. That is until the end of my story.   
“Umm, Miss Swan?” I hear Angela say as she raises her hand.  
“Yes,” is my reply.   
“Can I ask you a personal question?” She is hesitant in her words, and I wonder why.   
“As long as it is class appropriate, you may, but know that I may not be able to answer it.”  
“Do you love him?” I gasp at her question. Why would she ask such a thing? “I’m sorry if it is out of line, but there is something in your face when you talk about him. I have never seen you light up like this.”   
For an eight-grader, she is great at reading people. “Yes, I do. We fell in love over the course of the summer.” I decide it’s best to be honest.   
“So you are still writing him then?”  
“When was your last letter?”   
“What was it like meeting him for the first time?”  
“Can we meet him?”  
I had not read all of the letters to the class, but I had shared parts of them with the students. They knew that he was supposed to be here for my birthday.  
“Is that why you were out over the first month of school?”  
All of these questions seemed to come out at once.   
“That’s where this story changes. I do still write him, but he will never see them. You see, he never made it for my birthday. A few days before he was set to arrive, I got his last letter. There was some kind of accident, and he didn’t make it. That is why I was out.”   
We talked a bit more about Edward and loss in general. I watched as the girls dried the tears from their eyes, and the boys, although did not cry, turned quite somber. We talked about why it’s nice to have written words. That it allows you to take them with you, and never forget what is said. A few of the students asked if I would ever share his last letter, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet. The rest of the day goes by relatively quick, and as hard as it was talking about him, I feel better.   
November 20, 2011  
My dear Edward,   
I told my class about you today. We have been sharing letters and information as well as talking about different writing skills. It was time that I shared my experience with them.  
There were many questions and tears, but it felt good talking about you. I miss you so much, and some days, it’s hard to accept what happened. They want me to share your last letter, but I don’t think I can. There is too much emotion there. Please know that I love you, and miss you.  
Bella  
~MDE~  
Thanksgiving was hard; I have so much to be thankful for, but there is still so much pain. I still write to Edward; Alice was right, it does help. I can tell him about my day, and how much I love him. I’m able to go out more. I’m still in no way ready to move on, but I’m healing. I’m accepting that I will never hear from Jasper or get the answers I so badly want.   
December 10, 2011  
My dear Edward,   
Christmas; that is the day I will open your gift. I look at the box, and part of me wants to rip it open, and part of me wants to savor it. It’s time. I’m healing slowly, and I know you wanted me to have whatever is in that package, so I will open it. I can’t believe it has been three months. It still feels like yesterday. The pain is lessening, although, I don’t think it will really ever go away. I love you Edward, and I only wish you knew that. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I just don’t understand. I know I never will, but I just wish we had more time together. Part of me is scared that I will never feel this way again, and part of me is scared that I will. You are it for me.   
Yours forever,   
Bella  
I put down my pen and close the journal where I have started to write all my letters to Edward. It’s time to go meet Alice, so I grab my keys and coat and head out the door.   
“So what are your plans for Christmas?’ Alice asks over coffee.   
“I’m keeping it low key this year. I will see my dad on Christmas Eve, and will spend Christmas morning alone, and before you ask, yes, I am still meeting you girls for Christmas dinner.”  
“Bella, you know you don’t have to spend the day alone. Why don’t you come over and spend the entire day with me?”  
“Thanks, but I need to have some time to think. I’m finally going to open his gift.”  
Alice smiles, and there is a bit of comfortable silence as we sip our coffee. The girls have been asking me when I would be ready to open it, and I know this makes her happy. She reaches across the table and pats my hand.   
“It’s a good thing. You need to heal, and this is something he wanted you to have.”  
“I know, and I think I’m ready now.”  
We talk more before parting ways with plans for dinner the following evening.   
~MDE~

Christmas morning 2011  
It is a perfect Christmas morning. Well, almost perfect. There was a soft snow that fell last night, and the outside world is covered with a blanket of white. It’s a beautiful sight. There is a fire in the fireplace and soft carols playing from the radio. The lights are up and twinkling and the smell of breakfast is still in the air. The only thing missing is Edward. I have no idea if he would have been able to be here with me, but that doesn’t matter, as I know I will never spend a Christmas with him. I look under the tree, and there are a few gifts there. I opened most of my dad’s last night, but he always sends me home with a few so that I have something under my tree. The girls and I do the same thing, but we will open most of ours later today. There is one gift that catches my eye; Edward’s gift. I almost have second thoughts about opening it, but I know I can’t back out. This is something he would want me to have. The question now, is do I open it first or last?   
After debating, I decide to open it last. I smile at the books my dad got me and laugh at the gag gifts from the girls. We will give our serious gifts when we are together. This year, they got me some great ornaments for the tree and a bunch of silly books. There have been years where there have been sexual gifts under the tree, but they know it is too soon for those types.   
Once all the gifts are open, I pick up the one box that is left. I grip it tight and hold it close to my heart. “Merry Christmas Edward, I love you.” I whisper in the air as I sit back in my chair. I slowly begin to open the wrapper and tears spring to my eyes when I see the box. I know that this gift will be amazing. I recognize the box to be from Tiffany’s. I begin to open the box and cry harder when I see what is inside. Inside the box is a sterling silver chain link bracelet. I smile as I look at the beautiful work that it’s made up of. I begin to cry when I see the one charm that is attached to it. It is the one thing that connects us, and there could not be a more perfect charm. Nestled in one of the links is a sterling silver envelope with a small diamond where the stamp would be. There could not have been a more perfect gift.   
As I cry and stare at the breathtaking gift, I hear a knock at my door. I love the girls, they know how hard today will be, so they must have come to check on me. I place the jewelry on my wrist as I walk to the door. I have no time to dry my face as the tears can’t be stopped. I open the door, and when I look up the tears fall heavier. This can’t be happening. My heart races, my vision is blurry from the tears, and I can’t seem to speak. How can this be happening? Am I dreaming? As the world begins to go dark, I feel a set of strong arms hold me and hear the most beautiful words ever spoken.   
“Isabella…”


	23. Chapter 23

~MDE~  
Chapter 23

That voice; I know I’ve only heard it once before, but I dream of it every night. Why does it sound so different this time? I’m torn. I want to wake up; see if he is really there, but I want to stay in this dream where I can be with him always.   
“Isabella, wake up, baby.”  
I try to roll over so that I can get more comfortable, but I can’t seem to move. Why do these dreams always have to feel so real? It makes it that much harder when I wake to the reality of a life without him. “I don’t want to,” I reply to dream Edward. I feel his arms wrap around my body tighter. My dream becomes restless, and my body seems to match. “Bella, you are scaring me. Please wake up.” Scared? Why would he be scared? I snuggle into the arms in my dream and breathe in his scent. I have always imagined what he would smell like, and this is it. My body instantly relaxes in the arms that hold me. There has never been a safer feeling than what I’m feeling right now.   
“I don’t want to wake up.”  
“Why, baby? Can you tell me why?”  
“You won’t be here,” I say back as the tears begin to fall.   
“Baby, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”  
I feel my body coming back around, and I cling to my dream as if it were my last breath. As I become more aware of my surroundings, the first thing I notice is that there really are arms holding me. I’m scared to open my eyes. I know I have to, but instead, I shut them tight. I feel the soft pads of fingers caress my face and that voice again. “Bella, please open your eyes, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.”  
It can’t be. I open my eyes and gasp. These soon turn into sobs as I cling to his chest. I can feel, hear, smell, and see him, but how is this true? How is he here? “No, this isn’t real.” I close my eyes tight once more.   
“Bella, I need you to open your eyes. I need you to look at me.” His voice is pained and full of emotion.   
“I can’t. I don’t want to lose this feeling. I know it’s not real. You’re not here.”  
“Baby, I’m confused. Why wouldn’t I be here?”  
“Because you’re dead,” I say in tones no louder than a whisper.   
The only sounds I hear are my rapid heartbeat and the breaths of not one, but two people. I need to take the chance. This is what I wanted all along wasn’t it? I open my eyes praying that it’s not just a dream, and he is here. The bright morning sun is cascading through my windows, and it’s almost too bright. I take a moment to focus, and when my eyes can see my surroundings I take the chance to look up. There he is. I have no clue how, but Edward is here in my home, holding me in his arms. I burst into a full blown panic attack. I’m happy, scared, angry and so much more.   
I pull myself from his arms and stand. I need to catch my breath and calm down. I look at his face again. My dreams have not done him justice. His expression is worried and confused. He walks closer to me; his arms reaching for me. I flinch seconds before he touches me. Before I know it, my fist are on his chest; not gripping and holding him close like I have dreamed of, but alternating between pulling him and hitting him. “How could you? How could you do that to me?”  
His arms wrap around my shaking and trembling body. He pulls me closer, trapping my hands between our bodies. It’s so tight it hurts, yet, not nearly tight enough. “Baby, I don’t know what you mean? What did I do?”  
“You left me,” I sob into his chest.   
“Love, I never left you. Please tell me what’s going on.”  
How can he not know? Is this a game to him? My anger grows, and I force myself from his embrace, instantly wanting him to hold me again. “How can you not know? You left me. I thought you were dead. Was it a joke? Do I mean nothing to you? How you let me think that for all these months and then show up thinking everything will be fine.” My voice rises higher until I am screaming at him. All the pain, frustration, anger, and every other emotion I have felt over the last three months come rushing out at once. It is almost more than I can handle.   
“What do you mean you thought I was dead? I don’t understand. What happened?” He runs his hands through his hair tugging it in frustration. How many nights did I wish I could do that? How many nights did I grieve him? How can he pretend he didn’t hurt me?   
“I thought you were dead. Was it a joke, was there someone else, or were you just playing me? Almost four months I spent mourning you. You tell me you love me then disappeared. Why couldn’t you tell me this just wasn’t what you wanted? Why make me think you were dead and then just show up? Why?”   
My body trembles, and he tries to come closer only to find me backing away. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy that he is alive, but also so hurt and angry. He takes a deep breath before he begins to talk. “Bella, I have no idea what you are talking about, or what would make you think I was dead. I love you. God, that is not the way I wanted to tell you, and sure as hell not the way I expected this day to go. You are not a game, love. You are everything to me. Can you please tell me why you thought I was dead? There has to be some explanation.”  
Could it be? Could there really be an honest explanation; could this have been just one big mistake? I take a few deep breaths as I try to calm myself. “The letter,” are the only words I can manage to get out.   
“What letter?”   
The last one you sent me. I got it the same day I got my birthday gift. You told me goodbye, that you loved me.” I take the chance and look up, all color has drained from his face, and he looks as if he is about to be sick. “Baby, what else did the letter say?”  
“You told me you loved me, and that you were sorry you would not be here for me.” Edward’s body hunches over in defeat. “I have read it so many times since that day; I can tell you what it says line for line.” He walks backward until he is stopped by the door. “You told me that you will miss out on so much and that you want me to move on.” His knees begin to shake and he slides down the door until he is sitting on the floor with his arms resting over his knees. His head falls back against the door with a soft thud, as his eyes shut tight. “Do you need me to go on? You told me that you had other letters like this for your family, but mine was the hardest. That you didn’t want, or know, how to say goodbye.” My body falls to the floor matching his position; only leaning against the back of the couch.   
It’s moments before either of us speaks. “Bella, how can that be? I wrote that letter, but it is in my bag, it’s not what was mailed.” I look up and am met with the most beautiful face streaked with tears. “I have the letter, Edward. It hasn’t left my side since I got it. It’s in my pocket right now.” Our voices are both soft and full of emotions. “Baby, I am going to get my bag from the car. Will you be okay here for a moment?” I knew it was too good to be true. He only came here to rub it in and tell me goodbye to my face. He must see the expression in my face, because his falls. “I promise I’m coming right back. I need to get my bag, that letter is in there. I am not sure what happened, or who wrote that to you, but I can assure you that was not sent by me.” My head drops to my knees as the tears once more take over. The front door closing softly brings my attention back to him.   
He walks to me slowly, waiting for me to react, but I can’t. There is no more fight left in me. He sits next to me and goes through his things. He brings out an envelope, it is the exactly like the one my final letter came in. “Baby, I did write a letter like that. I have one for my parents and brother as well. They get updated every so often and are only to be mailed or delivered in case something goes wrong. A lot of us have them. It’s our way to reach out one last time and make sure that our loved ones know how we feel. As you can imagine they are not easy to write. Yours was by far the hardest. The letter I mailed you was telling you that my leave was being changed. There was a development in the mission we were running and had to leave that night. We had no notice, and the mission was top secret. No one knew where we were or how long we would be gone. The letter I sent was telling you what info I could.”   
My tears have momentarily stopped as I listen to him. He sounds so honest and defeated. “Can I have that letter please?” I ask him softly. He hands me the envelope, and as his skin briefly touches mine, my heart stops. Does he feel that too? I take the envelope from him and slowly open it. I take out the crisp white paper and unfold it to read the words it holds. 

Date: 9/1/2011  
My dearest Bella,   
I hope this letter finds you well. I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first? I know that was mean of me, as you have no choice. Well, I will start with the bad. I am so sorry, but I will not be able to make it for your birthday. There is an extremely important mission that I need to leave for, and there is no way around it. As with any mission, I do not know an exact time frame, but I am hoping to be back before the New Year, and I will be granted my leave then. I know that this is not what either of us wants, but duty calls, and this has to happen.   
Can you please do me a favor and open your gift on your birthday. I know I said you could open it at any time, but where I can’t be there for your birthday; this is my way of being there for you. If you do open it sooner, please humor me and don’t tell me the truth. I really hope you enjoy it.   
Okay, for the good news…well, you will have to wait a bit. There are two parts, and I really want to share them with you in person. There are two really important things I need to tell you, and I think they are better said in person.   
Please know that I am thinking of you always. Please don’t worry about me. I know you will, but I promise to be safe. You see, I have this really amazing girl waiting for me back home, and there is no way I want to disappoint her.   
Always yours,   
Edward. 

The tears fall again as I read his words. This wasn’t a game to him. He really does care, but how could mix up have happened? I reach into my back pocket and pull the now fragile paper out, handing it to him to read. He unfolds the paper, and I have to turn away as he reads the opening lines. Sobs fill the room, and I suddenly realize they are not coming from me. I look up at him just as he throws the paper to the ground and pulls my body into his lap. My thighs straddle his legs, his arms wrap tightly around my waist. Our heads rest on the other’s shoulder and we cry. We cry for the pain he never knew I had, for the loss that I felt, for the time we missed with each other. We cry for the pain that neither of us ever wanted to cause the other, and lastly, we cry from the joy of finally being together.   
After what seems like hours but in reality were only mere minutes, he pulls back to look at my face. We both reach for the other’s face to wipe the tears. This causes a small smile for each of us. For the first time in a long time, this is a genuine smile. “Baby, I am so incredibly sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Please say you can forgive me.”  
“There is nothing to forgive. I don’t believe that you did this intentionally. What matters is that you are here. We are here, together.” He pulls me close again, and I fight to keep the tears back. I know there is so much to talk about, but all that matters right now is he is alive. Not only is he alive, but he is here with me.


	24. Chapter 24

~MDE~  
Chapter 24  
Once the tears stop and I'm able to calm down, I take a moment to just look at him. I pull back just the tiniest amount. In all honesty, Edward would not let me go enough to pull back much at all. Not that I can blame him.   
“Baby, I really am sorry. I think I know how this happened, and it was a simple mistake.”  
“A simple mistake; how could this be a simple mistake, Edward? Does it even matter?” I ask harshly. I don’t mean to, but there are so many emotions.   
“Baby, I didn’t mean it like that, and of course it matters.”  
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I spent so long thinking you were dead, and now there is one simple reason to it. Do you know how hard I tried to get answers? I searched for weeks for your parents. I know we talked about giving your mom my email, but if you did, she never reached out to me. I tried so hard but was unable to locate them. I even emailed Jasper but got no response. I thought he must have passed with you. Do you know how hard it was not having answers? It would have been so much easier if I had known the truth, how you died, or even where you were buried so I could see you. Talk to you. I could have had a chance to say goodbye, but no, there was no closure. No place to grieve. I had to do it alone. Sure the girls were here, but it wasn’t the same. I had nothing to go on, and that hurt more.”  
“I’m so sorry, love. You are right; I never got a chance to send her your email. I had every intention to in my next letter, but when we got called away, I wrote a quick one. Just enough to let them know I would not be in contact for a while, and to be honest, sending your email was that last thing on my mind. I was more worried about getting your letter out. I needed you to know more than anything what was going on. Now I wish I would have. I know my mom would have contacted you, and this could all have been cleared up. God, what I have I done?”   
“I don’t want to fight and argue. I’m overjoyed that you are here, but my emotions are on a roller-coaster right now. You don’t know what it was like, and I hope to God you never do. There is so much to process, and part of me wants someone to blame, someone to answer all my questions, and the other part just wants to pull you close and never let you go. I don’t know what to do.”  
“It’s okay. I can’t say I understand what you went through and are going through, because I have never been in your position, but I want to answer all that I can. If you need to yell and scream, do it. I’m not going anywhere, and I will be whatever you need me to be. Just don’t shut me out; let me tell you what happened that day. Let me try to fit the pieces of the puzzle together and help you heal. Help us heal. It is killing me seeing you like this, knowing that I could have prevented it.”  
I’m not going to fight him any longer. I rest my head on his chest, and he pulls me even closer. I feel him lean in and kiss my head before he begins to tell me more.   
“As I said, I have these letters for a few others. I never wanted them to get them by mistake. The envelopes that I used for the letters to my family are different than the ones I use for day to day letters”  
He lets go of me with one hand long enough to get his bag. He reaches in and pulls out a small handful of letters, and then moves me so my back is to his chest. This way he can still hold me to him, and show me the letters.   
“See, these ones are all done in blue and they are square. I got the idea from someone who had this same thing happen. The letter went to his mom, and you can guess how that went. The problem was I didn’t have a chance to get more of these envelopes. Everything happened so fast that I just wrote it. I needed to have it just in case. I was packing when they came in to get the mail. I told them to grab the white one on the bed, not thinking that there were two. The correct one was under my bag, so they didn’t see it. I didn’t think anything of it. I put it in my bag and headed out. I’m so sorry you went through this. I can’t even imagine what you went through.”  
Once Edward places the letters back in his bag, I turn and sit in his lap. His arms take residence around my waist, and my hands go to his face. I need to touch him, to feel him in front of me. Honestly, I’m still waiting to wake up and have him gone. I don’t think I could survive him not being here.   
“I know this was not your fault, and I hate that I spent so many months in so much pain, but you’re here, and that’s all that matters.”  
“I don’t know if I can ever tell you how sorry I am. I never want you to feel that pain again.”  
He is cut off by the phone, and it’s only then I realize I am supposed to be with the girls now. “As much as I don’t want to get that, I need to. I am supposed to be with the girls right now.”  
“Is it too selfish of me to say I don’t want you to go?”  
“I’m not going. I can’t. Let me just tell them something came up, and then we can talk.”  
Once I am on my feet, I notice so too is Edward. I smile when I see he needs to be near me as much as I need him near me. His hands never leave my body as we walk to the phone.   
“Hello,” I say into the receiver.   
“Bella! Come on girl, it’s Christmas. Where the hell are you?”  
“Umm, merry Christmas, Alice.”  
“Oh no you don’t. I know you are hurting, and honey I know this, but you need to come be with family. We will have so much fun.”  
“Alice, I need you to listen…” I can feel his arms wrap me tighter, giving me the strength I need. “I promise you I’m okay. Something came up, and I need to be home today. I know it’s Christmas, and I promise you I will tell you everything tomorrow. I just need today.”  
“Bella, are you sure you are okay. We can come there if you need us. You know we love you.”  
“I’m okay. To be honest, this could not have been a better Christmas. How about this…you and Rose come over for dinner tomorrow night. You will both know everything then.”  
“If you are sure…”  
“I’m sure. I will see you tomorrow. I love you, Alice, and I promise you I am okay.”  
As I hang up the phone, Edward picks me up and carries me to the couch. He sits and pulls me close.   
“I don’t think I could ever let you go,” he says as he kisses my head again.   
“I don’t want you to. I spent the last few months wondering what my life…our life could have been like. I spent so much time thinking of everything I lost, what we lost, but now you are here. I don’t want to let go.”  
He leans back and looks at me closely. I can see a hint of brightness in his eyes. “Bella, in the letter you were supposed to get I said there were some things I needed to tell you. I would like to tell you now.”  
“Okay.”  
“When I got my last set of orders, I realized just how much you meant to me. I knew I cared for you. It was then I realized just how much. I love you, Bella. I never thought I would find anything like this, but I did. I love you more than you will ever know and I can’t begin to tell you how much it hurts knowing what you went through.”  
I knew he loved me. I read it in his letter, but to hear the words come from his lips was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. “I love you too. The day I got your letter, Alice and I were sitting outside talking. I was telling her how much I cared for you. Just before I got the letter, I was kind of daydreaming about us.”  
“Really, What about,” he asks with a chuckle.   
“I saw you playing with our child while I was carrying our second.”  
“Is it wrong that I have dreamt of that as well? There were so many nights, I lay awake dreaming of what this could become. I hate that I hurt you so much. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this is tearing me up inside. I planned to come home and surprise you on Christmas, but this was not the surprise I wanted.”  
“Well, this was certainly a surprise, but Edward, I could not have asked for anything better on Christmas. This is the best gift I could ever receive. Maybe this could work to our advantage.”  
Edward’s face crinkles beautiful as he thinks over my words. “How do you mean?”  
“Think of it this way. We fell in love under less than normal circumstances. We both spent our time thinking of what this could turn into. We spent time getting to know each other, and I think getting to know ourselves a bit more as well. I spent the last few months grieving a love I had never expected. It put my life into perspective. I know what I wanted from this. When I thought I had lost you, all the feelings I were so confused about became so incredibly clear. I knew I loved you more than anything in this world. I knew that I wanted nothing more than my daydreams to come true. I want my life with you. I’m sorry if this is too much too soon, but I spent so many nights wishing I had the chance to tell you what I felt.”  
“Baby, it’s not too much. Tell me everything. Please, I need to know it all.”  
I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes. I will not hide anything from him, and he needs to know what I am going to say is true.   
“I want forever with you. I want to fall in love even deeper. Spend all my days with you and every night wrapped safely in your arms. I want to marry you someday, and watch you cry as we have our first baby. I want all of my dreams to be shared by you. I don’t ever want to be apart from you. I don’t think I could survive losing you again. I love you, Edward Cullen, and no matter what you say, I always will. There will never be another man in my life.”  
The room is met with silence. He reaches up and slowly wipes the tears from my face. His arms are still holding me close, and our eyes are still locked. When he doesn’t respond, I’m scared that I went too far. That maybe it’s too much for him, and he doesn’t want the same things. All doubts are pushed from my mind as his lips are now on mine. It only takes a fraction of a second before my lips begin to move against his. No matter how many times I dreamed of this, it’s nothing like this moment.   
His hands tighten against my lower back as he pulls me closer. His lips are soft as rose petals, but firm. The kiss starts off slow with mouths closed, but soon I feel him trace my bottom lip with his tongue. Without a second thought, I open my mouth to him and moan as his tongue skillfully meets mine. For the moment, all thoughts and memories of the pain over the last few months are gone. It’s only Edward and I. My hands reach to his neck, and I run my fingers though the hair at the nape of his neck. One of his hands mimics mine and effortlessly floats between my neck and face as he kisses me.   
This is more than I ever imagined I would get with him, and as our tongues meet and dance, I realize I need more. I need to know this is truly real, and not the most wonderful dream I could ever have. I know we are just meeting in person for the first-time today, but there is so much love and so many emotions that this amazing kiss is not enough. Only when we are forced to separate for the much-needed air do I take my chance.   
“I love you, Edward. Please, take me to bed.” Instantly, his lips are once again to mine, and he is picking me up.   
“Show me the way, love. Whatever you want and need is yours; just show me the way.” He kisses my neck as I give him directions to my bedroom so that we can show each other just how much we need and love the other.   
We giggle as we bump into the walls that line the way to my room. Once we make it to the door, he opens it slowly and continues to carry me to the bed. He lays me gently in the middle and hovers over me as he continues to kiss me. Even though it is blistery cold outside, here, in this room, I couldn’t be warmer. His fingers caress my cheek as he stares into my eyes, searching for something. I know he will not find any doubt or fear. I know the moment he realizes this as he smiles, truly smiles at me, and slowly brings his lips to mine not closing his eyes until they meet.   
The kiss is deep and full of so much emotion. He rests his weight on his left forearm, tilting his body just a bit. His right hand starts at my hips and runs up the sides of my body. There is just enough pressure, and it makes my body tremble in need. His thumb brushes the side of my breast causing me to gasp. He smiles when he notices the effect he has on me. “Bella, I want to go slow. I want to worship your body and take all the pain from the last few months away, but I need you. I don’t think I can slow down.”  
I can see he is at war with himself, so I make it easy on him. I grip the hem of my shirt and quickly slip it up over my head. Before he has a chance to respond, I use all my weight and push him so that he is on his back. I straddle him hips and kiss him hard. I only break the kiss to pull his shirt off. “Edward, I know, trust me I do, but I need you to make me forget the pain. I need you to make me feel good. I need to know you are really here. I love you. I need you to make love to me, please.”  
His hands grip my hips, and he pulls me hard against him. My God, he is huge. My head falls back, and a moan escapes my lips as I continue to rock back and forth against him. His eyes darken with his need for me, for us. “You are so beautiful, but baby, these need to go,” he says as he undoes the button on my jeans. I rise to stand above him as he pulls the fabric down over my thighs. I lift one foot at a time allowing him time to take them off completely. His hands run up and down my legs as he stares deep into my eyes. He sits up placing a wet open mouth kiss on my stomach. His hands make their way back to my hips, and he slips his thumbs in the waist of my panties. He looks up through his lashes, silently asking permission. I grip his hair in my hands and pull him back to me. He kisses just above my center, and inhales deeply. He moans before I hear a deep growl as he lowers my panties.   
Normally, this sort of position would make me a bit self-conscious, but with him, I have never been more comfortable. He looks up once more before placing a single kiss just above my clit. My hands grip his hair once more as I pull him closer, needing more. “Please” is all I manage to get out. He smiles, whispers he loves me, and then buries his face between my things. As his tongue meets my slippery wet flesh, my knees grow weak. He grips my hips holding me up and pulling me closer at the same time. He begins to lick the tip of my clit in alternating soft and hard circles. When he takes it in-between his teeth and bites down gently, I scream out in pleasure. I’m getting close. I can feel my body igniting in pleasure and need. When he brings his fingers into the game and quickly thrusts them into me, I scream out his name. “Baby, I know you are close, but when you do come, I want to be in you. I want to feel you come undone around me.” I sigh as he removes his mouth from me. He lays me down and crawls up my body.  
“Please, I can’t take it anymore. I need to feel you.” I grip his shoulders and pull him close to me, kissing him.   
“Fuck, Bella that is so incredibly hot.” He kisses me again. His hand roams down my body, stopping when it meets my center. He touches me gently before gripping himself and placing this hardened tip at my entrance. He pauses there and breaks the kiss. “Baby, open your eyes. I need to see you.” I open my eyes and smile softly. “There she is. I will never get tired of looking in those eyes.”   
“I love you,” I say as he slowly pushes into me. When we are fully combined as one, my head falls back in ecstasy. I have never felt so full, so loved. “No baby. I need you to look at me. I need to watch you, see you.”   
I force my eyes open as he begins to slowly move his hips against mine. I have never had sex with my eyes open. I have always found it awkward, but with Edward, it's easy. What started in a rush has now become slow and gentle. We watch each other as we move as one, in and out, over and over again. Our breathing is slow and deep, our movements slower and deeper. Our eyes never move from the others as we whisper how much we love the other.   
My body begins to burn in the fire he is creating deep within me. I feel myself climbing slowly to what I know will be the best orgasm of my life. We don’t need to tell the other we are close; we feel it in our movement, see it in our eyes. Edward’s movements become erratic, faster, yet still so slow. When we are both there, he leans in to kiss me, still not breaking eye contact. We grip each other tight, moan though our kiss and feel our bodies tremble and shake in our climax.   
We slow our movements; slowly bring the other one down from the intense passion until we finally still. Neither one makes the move to separate our bodies. He kisses me once more and rolls us so that I am lying on his chest. He has somehow still managed not to remove himself from me. I pull up, just a bit, so I can look at his face.   
“Bella, I love you more than there are words to say. I know I can never say this enough, but I’m sorry. I know I can’t take the pain back, but I promise to spend the rest of my life never making you feel that pain again. I want to love you forever and know you love me too. I know this may be crazy and soon, but I need you…forever. To be honest, forever will never be enough. I can’t risk losing you, or you losing me. Marry me, Isabella Swan. You can tell me this is too soon, and that I’m crazy, but please tell me you will love me forever, and that you will be my wife.”


	25. Chapter 25

~MDE~  
Chapter 25   
Did he really just ask me to marry him? I try to calm my nerves, open my eyes, and freeze when I see his face.   
“Baby, please don’t leave me hanging here,” he says, trying to smile.   
Confusion sets in, and I have no idea what to do. It’s suddenly too much. I pull out of his grasp, and when I stand, I pull the sheet and wrap it around my body. Turning to look at him, I can see the anguish in his eye. I don’t want to hurt him, but it’s too much. I run from the room, only stopping in front the window to watch the still falling snow. Wrapping the sheet tighter around my body trying to find warmth and comfort, I stare deeper into the snow trying to get my answers. I feel him before I hear him enter the room.   
He stands behind me and gently places a hand on my shoulder. “Bella, please talk to me.” I can hear the pain in his voice. It’s pain I put there, and that hurts even more.   
“No,” Is all I can manage to say. I hear him draw in a quick breath as I say the word. I know this hurts him, but it is too much too soon. “I’m sorry, Edward, but I can’t.”  
His hand falls from my shoulder, and I immediately feel the loss. “Will you look at me please?” His voice is no higher than a whisper and is filled with pain. I owe him that much, so I turn to face him but can’t look in his eyes. “Edward, I love you. However, I can’t marry you like this. I spent so long grieving you, and now, now you’re here. It’s a lot to take in, and I can’t help but wonder if this is just your response to everything that is going on. I dreamed of being your wife, but not like this.”  
“Isabella, I love you; I want you with me forever.”  
“I know you do, and I love you too. Let me ask you this, did you come here planning on asking me?”  
I can hear the silence in the room. Maybe it would be different if he had, but I can’t marry him because he feels guilty. “See, that’s what I mean.” I finally take the chance and look him in the eye. I almost wish I hadn’t, but he needs to see I’m telling him the truth. “You had no intention of asking me that today. There are a lot of emotions going on for both of us, and you reacted. I would love to be your wife someday, but I need to know it’s because you want nothing more than to be my husband, and not because we got caught up in emotions.”  
“I’m not caught up. Well, maybe I am, but it still doesn’t change the way I feel about you, about us.”  
I reach and stoke his face and smile when he quickly relaxes under my touch. “Baby, I know that. I know you love me, but we can’t do this, not like this. We need time to be with each other. I need time to get my emotions in check. We just...oh, I don’t know. I just know that I can’t do this now. I am not saying never, because believe me, I want you forever. I just need to know in my heart that you want this forever and not because we are scared of losing each other.”  
He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me. I sink into his chest and just feel. I know this is what I want, and if the last few months were different, I know I would have said yes, but I can’t go through life wondering what if. It’s not fair to either of us. I only hope he understands. It’s a few minutes before he finally responds. “I’m sorry. I can’t say I’m not disappointed and hurt, but you’re right; I guess I did just get caught up in the moment. Can we go back to bed and talk about this?” I lean back and raise an eyebrow at him. “No. Not for that; unless you want to. I just want to talk, and frankly, its winter and chilly, and you are the only one that is draped in a sheet. I smile, step back, and open my arms inviting him in. He steps closer, and we slowly walk back to the bedroom. Once we are snuggled back in the warmth of each other and the blankets, we begin to talk once more.   
“Will you at least allow me to do something?”  
“What’s that?”  
“Let me add you to my list of emergency contacts. I never want you to go through that again. I know if…no, once we are married that you will always be notified, but until then it would put me at ease. I also want to make sure that you have my family’s contact information. If I had just given…”  
“Please don’t go there. We can’t live on what ifs or what should or could have been done. There is nothing that anyone can do to change the past. We just need to move on from here and pray that it never happens again.”  
“I just hate knowing that if I had done one simple thing, I could have saved you so much pain.”  
“It is not your fault. Yes, you can add me, if that is what you want.”  
“It is. Will you meet my family while I am here? If it is too soon, please just tell me.”  
“I would love to. Why don’t we go see the girls tomorrow? I know they will not leave me be until I see them. Then, if it is not too much to ask, I would really love to just be with you, with no interference from outside world, just you and me.”  
“I would love nothing more. Would you be opposed to going home with me for New Year's? My parents throw a huge party every year, and I will be expected to be there. Besides, that will give us this entire week alone.”  
“I would love to.”  
“Can I ask you one more thing?”  
“Edward, you can ask me anything.”  
“If things had been different, what would you have said?”  
“I don’t want to hurt you, but I most likely would have said yes. I don’t know. I want to be with you, and I don’t want you to take this as a rejection, there is just so much going on in my head right now. I need time to process.”  
“I understand. Now that I think about it, you are right. So…next time…”  
I can’t help but smile at the man lying next to me. I know I could drag this out, but I can’t hurt him anymore than I have. “Next time…will be a yes…” Instantly his lips are on mine, and we begin round two.


	26. Chapter 26

~MDE~  
Chapter 26

There have been many dreams I have had over the last few months, but none compare to this one. Edward has never felt real. I can feel his body wrapped around mine as his arms hold me tight. The sound of not one, but two hearts echo in the quiet dawn. If I could die now, I would never ask for anything more. I don't want to give up this feeling. The feeling of consciousness begins to wash over me, and no matter how hard I try to stay wrapped in the warmth of my dream, it’s no use. There is a pounding at my door, and it seems as though they will not go away.   
As I try to lift my tired body from my night of slumber, I notice a few things. My body is sore. It’s a delicious sort of sore but sore nonetheless. What concerns me more is that I’m not alone. I wasn’t dreaming of two heartbeats and arms holding me. My body begins to panic as I try to remember what happened yesterday. It is one voice that brings it all back to me. “Baby, what’s wrong?” I take a deep breath and smile. It wasn’t a dream after all. Turning, I look at that astounding man lying next to me and thank the great lord above for sending him back to me once more. “Nothing is wrong, love. There is someone at the door. I will be right back. Most likely it’s the girls. Can you give me a few minutes?”  
“Sure. Take all the time you need. I am yours forever, and I’m not going anywhere,” he says as he kisses my lips. The kiss is slow and amazing. The pounding on the door breaks our kiss. We both sigh as I get up and grab his shirt from the previous night and place it over my body. He is tall enough that it falls to my knees, and I can’t help but bring it to my nose to inhale the scent of him. I hear him laugh as I leave the room making my way to greet the girls.   
Pulling the door open mid knock, I’m met with a wide-eyed Alice and Rose. “Bella, what on earth is going on? What happened yesterday, and why are you wearing a man’s shirt? Did…”  
I know if I don’t interrupt Alice now, I will never get a word in otherwise. “Alice, calm down. Come in, and I promise to tell you everything.” I show the girls to the living room where Alice and I sit knee to knee on the sofa, and while Rose takes a seat on the chair across from us.  
“Bella is there a man here,” Alice asks.   
“Look, I know you want answers, and I will give them to you, but I need you to let me get this out, please.” Both girls nod, and I begin to tell them of the events of my unforgettable Christmas. When I get to the part where he asked me to marry him, I stop. Part of me wants to jump up and down like a schoolgirl, but part of me wants to keep it to myself. “Bella, I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and all over a simple letter,” Alice says through her tears. Looking around, I notice all three of us are wiping our eyes.   
“And she couldn’t have made it through it without you. For that, I will be forever grateful.”  
We all turn at the sound of his voice. I wonder how long he has been standing there, and by the look on his face, it’s been a while. He opens his arms, and instantly I’m off the couch and pressed to his chest. “Girls, I would like you to meet Edward Cullen. Edward, meet Alice and Rose.” The girls rise, and instead of the proper handshake, he hugs them both tight and whispers something in their ear. The only response from each of them is a smile and a “you’re welcome.” Sure others may have been jealous, but to me, it was a great moment where they all accepted each other.   
We sit for hours talking and letting the girls and Edward get to know each other. Several times, I just sit back and watch them interact. I never thought I would have this, and there is no way I will ever give it up.   
“Edward, I’m so glad that everyone is safe. Did everyone get to home to family or are they still overseas?”  
“Well, Rose, this time we were all lucky. We all get to have a leave. Jasper went home to his family in Texas, although, he will be joining us for New Years. Speaking of New Years, what would you two girls say about joining me at my mom’s? Bella has already said she would come, and it would be great to have everyone together. I know Jasper would love to meet you.”  
Alice and Rose look at each other for only a moment before replying. “We would love to, on one condition,” Alice says looking at me.   
“Oh no; come on, Alice. Do you have to?” I reply with a slight cringe.  
“Oh I must hear this.”   
“My, well, our condition, is that we get to makeover Bella for the party. Is this a casual, semi-formal, or formal party?” Oh shit, why didn’t I think to ask that?  
“It’s formal. My mom goes all out. It always turns out to be an amazing party. If Bella needs something to wear, I would be more than happy to help.” Why do I feel like I am completely left out of this conversation? “Whatever you need, let me know.”  
“Um, hello. I am right here you know.”  
The three turn to look at me and laugh softly. “Oh, we know, but you also know we can never pass up an opportunity to dress you up. Edward, we are in.”  
“I can see that you three are completely conspiring against me, so I am going to start some lunch. Are you staying?”   
“Yes,” they reply in unison.   
I chuckle to myself as I walk to the kitchen. There has never been a happier moment in my life. Here I am, with the man I love in the next room, conspiring against me with my two best friends. They seem to get along like they have known each other for years. The sounds of laughter fill my home when I expected nothing but the sounds of my pain.   
I move effortlessly around the kitchen preparing the corn chowder and cornbread that will be served for lunch. This is my element. Surrounded by pans, bowls, and multiple ingredients that when on their own are plain and boring, but mix them together just right, and something amazing happens.   
“Something smells amazing in here.”  
I smile as Edward walks deeper into the kitchen only stopping when he is standing behind me with his arms encasing my waist. “It’s corn chowder and cornbread. I hope you like it.”  
“I can’t wait. I miss home-cooked food so much.”   
I feel a well-placed kiss on my neck. “I love to cook, so you are in luck. If you ever walk away from this house hungry, it is your own fault.”  
“I could get used to this.”  
“What’s that?”  
“Everything; you cooking for me, taking care of me, and just knowing that when I go home, you are there.”  
“I want that too."  
“I’m sorry for yesterday.”  
“Don’t worry about it. I understand, and as I said, it was not a ‘no’ forever. It is a ‘just not right now.’”  
“Tomorrow.”  
“Tomorrow what?”  
“Can I ask you tomorrow?” he says all the while trying not to laugh.  
“Edward, you know that’s not what I meant. I believe we will both know when the time is right, whether that is tomorrow, two weeks from now, or two years from now. We will know it when the time comes, and I will say yes.” I feel him nuzzle into my neck as he whispers “that’s all I needed to know.”  
Lunch is finished, and Edward helps me carry it to the table, and we have the best lunch I have had in a very long time.


End file.
